Blog the Magic Gathering

Kozilek, Butcher of Truth

2010-03-04T07:31:00.000-08:00

Is it me or is that a goblin in a mech suit? Look at it's head.

Kozilek, Butcher of Truth 10
Legendary Creature - Eldrazi Mythic
When you cast Kozilek, Butcher of Truth, draw four cards.
Annihilator 4 (Whenever this creature attacks, defending player sacrifices four permanents.)
When Kozilek is put into a graveyard from anywhere, its owner shuffles his or her graveyard into his or her library
12/12
Michael Komarck
6 of 248

Re: 6 of 248. ManaNation.com says the rumour mill at mtgsalvation.com says magicmadrid.es says their father's brother's nephew's cousin's former roommate says Rise of the Eldrazi will be composed of two types of cards: colorless (Kozilek) and hybrid cards (ie. Rakdos Guildmage / Beseech the Queen / Reaper King / etc.)

Remember these?

Arena of the Ancients 3
Artifact
Legendary creatures don't untap during their controllers' untap steps.
When Arena of the Ancients enters the battlefield, tap all legendary creatures.

Karakas
Legendary Land
T: Add W to your mana pool.
T: Return target legendary creature to its owner's hand.

Minamo, School at Water's Edge
Legendary Land
T: Add U to your mana pool.
U,T : Untap target legendary permanent.

Shizo, Death's Storehouse
Legendary Land
T: Add B to your mana pool.
B,T: Target legendary creature gains fear until end of turn. (It can't be blocked except by artifact creatures and/or black creatures.)

Shinka, the Bloodsoaked Keep
Legendary Land
T: Add R to your mana pool.
R,T: Target legendary creature gains first strike until end of turn.

Untaidake, the Cloud Keeper
Legendary Land
Untaidake, the Cloud Keeper enters the battlefield tapped.
T, Pay 2 life: Add 2 to your mana pool. Spend this mana only to cast legendary spells.

Sword of the Chosen 2
Legendary Artifact
T: Target legendary creature gets +2/+2 until end of turn.

Goryo's Vengeance 1B
Instant — Arcane
Return target legendary creature card from your graveyard to the battlefield. That creature gains haste. Exile it at the beginning of the next end step.
Splice onto Arcane 2B

Hero's Demise 1B
Instant
Destroy target legendary creature.

Time of Need 1G
Sorcery
Search your library for a legendary creature card, reveal it, and put it into your hand. Then shuffle your library.

Loyal Retainers 2W
Creature — Human Advisor (1/1)
Sacrifice Loyal Retainers: Return target legendary creature card from your graveyard to the battlefield. Activate this ability only during your turn, before attackers are declared.

Reki, the History of Kamigawa 2G
Legendary Creature — Human Shaman (1/2)
Whenever you cast a legendary spell, draw a card.

Willow Satyr 2GG
Creature — Satyr (1/1)
You may choose not to untap Willow Satyr during your untap step.
T: Gain control of target legendary creature for as long as you control Willow Satyr and Willow Satyr remains tapped.

Yomiji, Who Bars the Way 5WW
Legendary Creature — Spirit (4/4)
Whenever a legendary permanent other than Yomiji, Who Bars the Way is put into a graveyard from the battlefield, return that card to its owner's hand.

Tsabo Tavoc 5RB
Legendary Creature — Horror (7/4)
First strike, protection from legendary creatures
BB,T: Destroy target legendary creature. It can't be regenerated.

Worst Magic Card Ever: Razor Boomerang

2010-02-08T10:17:00.000-08:00

Razor Boomerang 3
Artifact — Equipment Uncommon
Equipped creature has "T, Unattach Razor Boomerang: Razor Boomerang deals 1 damage to target creature or player. Return Razor Boomerang to its owner's hand."
Equip 2
"Few can catch it without losing a finger."

This card is a misprint, they meant to print:
"Few can play it without losing."

This card would seem to suggest someone has a pathological vendetta against Krull, maybe 2 designers were competing to see who could make the worst card that would still get printed (Note how this card's art is totally mocking Bull Rush?). Honestly, I presume there is a designer sitting back and laughing at how much people think this card sucks, because he knows there will be a killer combo for it and he's waiting for the look on people's faces when he tells them and they say "Wha-whhaaaAAAT?" Until this killer combo is revealed, I yet again stand up to defend another possibly misunderestimated Magic card and struggle to find a deck for...

The Worst Magic Card Ever!

Problem 1: It costs too much to cast.

Stoneforge Mystic 1W (2)
Creature — Kor Artificer
When Stoneforge Mystic enters the battlefield, you may search your library for an Equipment card, reveal it (usually good for a 1st game laugh when you menacingly and dramatically reveal Razor Boomerang), put it into your hand, then shuffle your library.
1W,T: You may put an Equipment card from your hand onto the battlefield.
1/2

There, 33% off. On sale at Instant speed, ACT NOW!

Problem 2: It cost too much to equip.

Kor Outfitter WW
Creature — Kor Soldier
When Kor Outfitter enters the battlefield, you may attach target Equipment you control to target creature you control.
2/2

There, Free Shipping! Buy one get one free!

Problem 3: It only does 1 damage.

27 creatures in Worldwake have toughness 1
125 creatures in Standard have toughness 1.
...and...
Mire Blight B
Enchantment — Aura
When enchanted creature is dealt damage, destroy it.

Problem 4: It taps a creature.

Quest for Renewal 1G
Enchantment
Whenever a creature you control becomes tapped, you may put a quest counter on Quest for Renewal.
As long as there are four or more quest counters on Quest for Renewal, untap all creatures you control during each other player's untap step.

Maybe you want something more in your color?

Veteran's Reflexes W
Instant
Target creature gets +1/+1 until end of turn. Untap that creature.

That's 2 unexpected damage and no tapped creature, but wait, there's more!

22 cards in Standard have or give Vigilance, so you can attack and THEN ping something/someone. Cerodon Yearling, Kazandu Blademaster, Shield of the Righteous, Steward of Valeron, Asha's Favor, Griffin Sentinel, Ajani Goldmane, Joraga Bard, Scornful Æther-Lich, Stoic Angel, Beacon Behemoth, Cloudheath Drake, Serra Angel, Shepherd of the Lost, Bull Cerodon, Captain of the Watch, Felidar Sovereign, Meglonoth, Nacatl Hunt-Pride, Skyward Eye Prophets, Godsire, Sphinx of the Steel Wind, or get your degree, you can major in Business Management or Accounting. (I totally lifted that joke from Chewie of The Mana Pool.)

There are also cards which can untap, such as:

Tideforce Elemental 2U
Creature — Elemental
U,T: You may tap or untap another target creature.
Landfall — Whenever a land enters the battlefield under your control, you may untap Tideforce Elemental.
2/1

Twitch 2U
Instant
You may tap or untap target artifact, creature, or land.
Draw a card.

Postive aspects of Razor Boomerang:

It's colorless, you can use any color mana to cast it.

It's colorless, you can do colorless damage and 14 cards in standard have or grant protection from at least one color: Kor Firewalker, Black Knight, Sejiri Steppe, Brave the Elements, Goblin Outlander, Great Sable Stag, Kabire Angel, Malakir Bloodwitch, Nacatl Outlander, Sphinx of the Steel Wind, Valeron Outlander, Vedalken Outlander, White Knight, Zombie Outlander. What can you do about them? I'll tell you: use Colorless damage.

Being colorless, Razor Boomerang will do damage without triggering Nemesis Trap, Ricochet Trap, Slingbow Trap, Refraction Trap, Permafrost Trap, or Stone Idol Trap.

Let's take a look at some other cards we might want to look at:

Kitesail Apprentice W
Creature — Kor Soldier (1/1)
As long as Kitesail Apprentice is equipped, it gets +1/+1 and has flying.
[Fear of tapping? No problem. Just equip Razor Boomerand on Kitesail and fly on in for 2, then when Kitesail is going to bite the big one anyway, tap him and get your revenge.]

Glassdust Hulk 3 W/U W/U
Artifact Creature — Golem Common
Whenever another artifact enters the battlefield under your control, Glassdust Hulk gets +1/+1 until end of turn and is unblockable this turn.
Cycling W/U
3/4
[Razor Boomerang goes back to your hand, so cast it again and again. This big guy loves it.]

Mire Blight B
Enchantment — Aura
Enchant creature
When enchanted creature is dealt damage, destroy it.
[Suddenly, pinging doesn't sound so bad now does it?]

Glaze Fiend 1B
Artifact Creature — Illusion
Flying
Whenever another artifact enters the battlefield under your control, Glaze Fiend gets +2/+2 until end of turn.
0/1
[More repetitive goodness.]

Scrib Nibblers 2b
Creature — Rat (1/1)
t: Exile the top card of target player's library. If it's a land card, you gain 1 life.
Landfall — Whenever a land enters the battlefield under your control, you may untap Scrib Nibblers.
[It untaps.]

Esper Sojourners WUB
Artifact Creature — Vedalken Wizard (2/3)
When you cycle Esper Sojourners or it's put into a graveyard from the battlefield, you may tap or untap target permanent.
Cycling 2U

Fatestitcher 3U
Creature — Zombie Wizard (1/2)
t: You may tap or untap another target permanent.
Unearth U

Quicksand (0)
Land
t: Add 1 to your mana pool.
t, Sacrifice Quicksand: Target attacking creature without flying gets -1/-2 until end of turn.
[more colorless mana, more colorless removal.]

Lodestone Golem 4
Artifact Creature — Golem
Nonartifact spells cost 1 more to cast.
5/3
[Everything but Razor Boomerang becomes expensive.]

...and last, but not least, a consistant MVP from Worldwake:

Everflowing Chalice 0
Artifact
Multikicker 2
Everflowing Chalice enters the battlefield with a charge counter on it for each time it was kicked.
Tap: Add 1 to your mana pool for each charge counter on Everflowing Chalice.
[One of these late game makes just about anything affordable, especially if you can UNTAP it.]

Stoneforge Mystic, Kor Outfitter, Veteran's Reflexes, Kitesail Apprentice, Glassdust Hulk, Tideforce Elemental, Mire Blight, Glaze Fiend, Scrib Nibblers, Esper Sojourner, Fatestitcher, Quicksand, Lodestone Golem...

Razor Boomerang: made for Esper.

[In an unrelated note: My technorati claim token is QWPZ3G8BQ288]

Magic the Gathering with Poker Cards

2010-02-07T10:09:00.000-08:00

I was thinking of a way to show people how Magic the Gathering is played by using regular casino style cards:

Each player gets a regular 54 card deck and starts the match with 20 points. Players shuffle and draw seven cards, but if they do not like their hands they may reshuffle and replace their hand with one less card (6...5...etc) until they like their hand or give up and lose that game. Players then draw a card from their decks and place that card in the discard pile, the player with the highest number card goes first; if neither player draws a number card, repeat until one player does.

The first player's turn begins. At the beginning of a player's turn they must untap all their cards (won't happen your first turn). Then that player must draw a card into their hand (if they have no cards left in their deck, they lose at that time). That player may then play any single number card as a power card by putting it into play (not the discard pile); once per turn, on their turn, each player may put only one power card into play. Red power cards fuel red cards, black power cards fuel black cards. The number on the power card must be at least as high as the value of the card you wish to play.

To play a card, turn a power card sideways (until the beginning of your turn) to show it has been used, then put your card into play. You may play as many cards this way as you have remaining power cards.

* Hearts give one player points equal to their card value (you may receive the points yourself or give them to another player).
* Diamonds draw cards equal to their card value (anyone may draw, but if you have more than 7 cards at the end of your turn, discard down to 7).
* Clubs drain points equal to their card value (you'll probably want to affect an opponent rather than yourself).
* Spades discard cards equal to their card value (someone of your choice will discard cards in their hand and then cards from their deck if necessary).
After the card's effect has been completed, put it in the discard pile unless it was a power card (which has no effect) or face card (which stays in play).

Once per turn, on your turn, a face card may attack and attempt to drain an opponent's points according to it's value:
Kings 3 (King of Diamonds draws 3 cards when first played)
Queens 2 (Queen of Hearts gives 2 points, probably to you)
Jacks 1 (Jack of Clubs drains 1 point, also from someone of your choice)
When face cards attack, turn them sideways until the beginning of your turn.

Face cards may also prevent points from being drained by other face cards and doing so does not require them to turn sideways, but if they prevent a loss of more points than they have then they are sent to the discard pile.

Aces may be played during anyone's turn and send any opponent's card to the discard pile regardless of where their card is, aces prevent a card's effect from taking place. Ace's may prevent Ace's from taking effect.

Jokers put a card in the discard pile on top of it's deck.

A player loses the game when they have no points or must draw when they have no cards in their deck.

The Worst Card Ever: Rumbling Aftershocks

2010-02-04T08:38:00.000-08:00

I heard someone (or two or three) on a podcast (or two or three) grumbling about how much Rumbling Aftershocks sucks. Hearing my cue to defend the possibly misunderestimated MtG cards of the world, yet again I stand up to defend...
The Worst Card Ever!

Rumbling Aftershocks 4R
Enchantment Uncommon Worldwake
Whenever you cast a kicked spell, you may have Rumbling Aftershocks deal damage to target creature or player equal to the number of times that spell was kicked.

Too expensive, it sucks. That's what I think. Anything over 2 mana makes me hesitate. Maybe if we had a mana ramp. Well, at least Rumbling Aftershocks is not heavy red, so we can just splash for it, that gives us some slack in building a deck to highlight this monstrosity. I'll be focusing on support cards from Worldwake, that way if your format supports this card it will support my support. Thus it makes sense to approach this from a draft perspective, which may be helpful if you accidently draft 4 Rumbling Aftershocks in picks 1-4. Seriously though, you might actually consider drafting a Multikicker deck with Rumbling Aftershocks if you grab a pack 1 rare multikicker like Joraga Warcaller, Marshal's Anthem, Strength of the Tajuru, or Wolfbriar Elemental:

Joraga Warcaller G (1)
Creature — Elf Warrior (1/1)
Multikicker 1g
Joraga Warcaller enters the battlefield with a +1/+1 counter on it for each time it was kicked.
Other Elf creatures you control get +1/+1 for each +1/+1 counter on Joraga Warcaller.

Marshal's Anthem 2ww (4)
Enchantment
Multikicker 1w
Creatures you control get +1/+1.
When Marshal's Anthem enters the battlefield, return up to X target creature cards from your graveyard to the battlefield, where X is the number of times Marshal's Anthem was kicked.

Strength of the Tajuru xgg (2)
Instant
Multikicker 1
Choose target creature, then choose another target creature for each time Strength of the Tajuru was kicked. Put X +1/+1 counters on each of them.

Wolfbriar Elemental 2gg (4)
Creature — Elemental (4/4)
Multikicker G
When Wolfbriar Elemental enters the battlefield, put a 2/2 green Wolf creature token onto the battlefield for each time it was kicked.

Ok, so let's get cracking. To abuse Rumbling Aftershocks and multikick, we need cheap multikickers and mana-accelerators. ... Well, well, well, speak of the devil, a cheap multikicking mana-accelerator:

Everflowing Chalice 0
Artifact Uncommon
Multikicker 2
Everflowing Chalice enters the battlefield with a charge counter on it for each time it was kicked.
T: Add 1 to your mana pool for each charge counter on Everflowing Chalice.

Everflowing Chalice helps us pay for Rumbling Aftershocks, it helps us pay for most multikickers and their multikicks, it helps pay for itself, and if we bring Everflowing Chalice into play after Rumbling Aftershocks, it burns something (or somebody) for every time it was kicked. Yay synergy. We'll get alot of colorless mana, so we'll keep an eye out for artifacts. Get your playset of Everflowing Chalice, you'll need it for Rise of the Eldrazi anyway.

Let's check out the other multikickers, starting with the commons you're most able to pick up:

Skitter of Lizards r (1)
Creature — Lizard (1/1)
Multikicker 1r
Haste
Skitter of Lizards enters the battlefield with a +1/+1 counter on it for each time it was kicked.
[Another candidate for The Worst Card Ever, it's a 1/1 with haste for 1, but it's great for an "equip and swing" and Everflowing Chalice loves paying for equipment. A +1/+1 counter for 1r may suck, but a +1/+1 counter and a ping from Rumbling Aftershocks for 1r sounds fine to me. Besides, nobody else likes this card, so we can pick up a couple of these when other people are deciding between Bull Rush and the land.]

Quag Vampires b (1)
Creature — Vampire Rogue (1/1)
Multikicker 1b
Swampwalk
Quag Vampires enters the battlefield with a +1/+1 counter on it for each time it was kicked.
[People love drafting vampires, so hatedrafting a cheap vampire with swampwalk sounds like a plan and if it helps Rumbling Aftershocks burn them or one of their vampires as well, all the better. Solid card for a Sideboard or splash, if not main deck.]

Gnarlid Pack 1g (2)
Creature — Beast (2/2)
Multikicker 1g
Gnarlid Pack enters the battlefield with a +1/+1 counter on it for each time it was kicked.
[2/2 for 2, I hate it, but Green has Joraga Warcaller, Strength of the Tajuru, Wolfbriar Elemental, and mana acceleration like Explore. So I might go heavy green and pick up a few Gnarlid Pack which could be mid/late game 4/4 double-pingers.]

Enclave Elite 2u (3)
Creature — Merfolk Soldier (2/2)
Multikicker 1u
Islandwalk
Enclave Elite enters the battlefield with a +1/+1 counter on it for each time it was kicked.
[Islandwalk doesn't seem as good as swampwalk. I'm just not very exited about this card, but I'd consider it if I saw a few Voyager Drake or thought the meta liked blue. Meh.]

Apex Hawks 2w (3)
Creature — Bird (2/2)
Multikicker 1w
Flying
Apex Hawks enters the battlefield with a +1/+1 counter on it for each time it was kicked.
[2/2 flyer for 3, eh, maybe, but it's white. If I had Marshal's Anthem, maybe.]

All the common multikickers' multikicks cost at least 1 colorless, so Everflowing Chalice will help cover the cost of our kicks, but getting too excited about too many of these common multikickers' could screw our colors. I prefer the red and black, because they're cheap and thus save our mana for kicks/Aftershocks, but green is the mana acceleration color and we need big kicks to show off Rumbling Aftershocks, so I might want try for G/R with a splash of black.

Now the Uncommon multikickers:

Comet Storm XRR
Instant
Multikicker 1
Choose target creature or player, then choose another target creature or player for each time Comet Storm was kicked. Comet Storm deals X damage to each of them.
[RR to cast, so we might need Pilgram's Eye for manafixing if we're not heavy red, but the multikicker is a colorless 1. Everflowing Chalice is having a torrid love affair with Comet Storm. It's removal, it's a finisher: rate it high.]

Deathforge Shaman 4r (5)
Creature — Ogre Shaman (4/3)
Multikicker r
When Deathforge Shaman enters the battlefield, it deals damage to target player equal to twice the number of times it was kicked.
[It's 4 power for 5 in Rumbling colors and if we have alot of mana from Everflowing Chalice or green accelerants then it's efficient burn if we have two or three red mana to put into it. Good finisher if we go heavy red, which I probably will. I like it.]

Bloodhusk Ritualist 2b (3)
Creature — Vampire Shaman (2/2)
Multikicker b
When Bloodhusk Ritualist enters the battlefield, target opponent discards a card for each time it was kicked.
[Awesome, love it. Discard your opponent's hand late game and make Rumbling Aftershocks burn for cheap... if we have two or three swamps, that's the catch.]

Lightkeeper of Emeria 3w (4)
Creature — Angel (2/4)
Multikicker w
Flying
When Lightkeeper of Emeria enters the battlefield, you gain 2 life for each time it was kicked.
[White has the fliers, but I'm not feeling it. Rumbling Aftershocks should help clear the board for our midrange, so we don't need too much evasion.]

Voyager Drake 3u (4)
Creature — Drake (3/3)
Multikicker u
Flying
When Voyager Drake enters the battlefield, up to X target creatures gain flying until end of turn, where X is the number of times Voyager Drake was kicked.
[Needs heavy blue and I'm already being pulled towards red, green, and black; maybe a splash of blue for Spell Contortion could be justifed if we have some Pilgrim's Eye.]

Spell Contortion 2u (3)
Instant
Multikicker 1u
Counter target spell unless its controller pays 2. Draw a card for each time Spell Contortion was kicked.
[Another candidate for Worst Card Ever, but Everflowing Chalice may give us plenty of mana, so 3 cards and 3 burn damage late in the game might set up our finishers, the possible counter is just gravy. I'd think about it, because we do need card draw and any draw is better than no card draw, but I might rather Explore to ramp and draw early.

Explore 1G
Sorcery Common
You may play an additional land this turn.
Draw a card.
[Ramp up, fix your mana, draw a card, undercut landfall decks, sounds good.]

Here are some artifacts Everflowing Chalice would love to pay for:

Common

Pilgrim's Eye (3)
Artifact Creature — Thopter (1/1)
Flying
When Pilgrim's Eye enters the battlefield, you may search your library for a basic land card, reveal it, put it into your hand, then shuffle your library.
[Looks like Pilgrim's Eye is THE manafixer for Worldwake and we don't seem to be going mono-red, so I rate this high. It's colorless, so it's a good early drop for a multicolor deck which has extra colorless mana. A 1/1 flyer for 3 sounds terrible, but it is evasion and really pay for our multikicks. Grab it before someone else does, because they'll need it too.]

Walking Atlas (2)
Artifact Creature — Construct (1/1)
Tap: You may put a land card from your hand onto the battlefield.
[Early colorless drop, may help cast our multikickers if we have the right land in hand, but I'd really want Pilgrim's Eye before valuing it high.]

Kitesail (2)
Artifact — Equipment
Equipped creature gets +1/+0 and has flying.
Equip 2
[We have midrange attackers without evasion, so if we can't burn out high toughness creatures, it's nice to have this option. We can only do so much damage with a flying Pilgrim's Eye, and Rumbling Aftershocks might get stuck burning creaures instead of burning face.]

These are the main cards I'm looking for:

r Strength of the Tajuru (we should be so lucky)
u Everflowing Chalice (people like it, so we'll like it more)
u Comet Storm (rr, we'll pick it up pack one when other people won't commit)
u Deathforge Shaman (get it before someone uses it as filler)
c Pilgrim's Eye (THE manafixer, get it when people are still getting uncommons)
u Bloodhusk Ritualist (awesome splash, but someone else probably wants it more)
u Rumbling Aftershocks (we'll be passed it, we'll take it.)
c Skitter of Lizards (we'll be passed it, we'll take it.)
c Gnarlid Pack (probably not too hard to get)
c Quag Vampires (black players will want it)
c Explore (probably one of the only green cards most people want)
u Spell Contortion 2u (if we get a few Pilgrim's Eye we might splash for it)
c Walking Atlas
c Kitesail

Early game: Walking Atlas, Everflowing Chalice, Pilgrim's Eye
Mid-game: Rumbling Aftershocks and multikicked midrangers
End-game: Comet Storm, Deathforge Shaman

Throw in some Kitesail/evasion, Bloodhusk Ritualist/discard, or Spell Contortion/card-draw as needed.

Looks like I might just lay off the green, unless I get a bomb rare; I'm liking Red/Black with artifacts.

Before trying to put this plan into action, I feel like need to get away from the theme of the deck and simply look at other cards we might want, maybe Quicksand, Smoldering Spires, Tectonic Edge, Ricochet Trap, Searing Blaze, Slavering Nulls, Smother, Vapor Snare, maybe hatedraft Kor Firewalker.

To be continued.
...
Not to be continued. I should have been writing about Razor Boomerang.

Magic: the Roleplaying

2010-02-01T08:44:00.000-08:00

People who play Magic the Gathering often have experience with roleplaying Dungeons and Dragons, people who roleplay Dungeons and Dragons often have experience with Magic the Gathering, and there are alot of people who talk about either game, but I rarely ever find people who talk about both, even if they regularly play both. I consider that a problem for WotC, it hurts market exposure and segregates WotC's consumers. Food for thought...

D&D Class: Planeswalker

Planeswalkers prepare their spells prior to casting (they build a deck). When planeswalkers want to cast a spell, they play Magic until they find the spell they want and have the mana to cast it, which means their spells may take a few rounds to cast and various spells may trigger before the desired effect is achieved ("Where did these glowing elves come from? You only paid for one tenant you know." - Innkeeper). Mulligan is a simple action. Planeswalkers are not proficient in weapons, armor, or shields, but may have spells which function as such ("So many different tools on so many planes, I'll just eat with my hands so I don't make myself looks stupid." - Joe "I put what in my mouth?!" Planeswalker).

HP: 20 Planeswalkers do not die, they divide by zero. ...on another plane. During each planeswalker's turn(/round/whatever) after they "die", that planeswalker may roll the planar dice (d-6) whenever they could cast a sorcery; the first roll each turn/round/*sigh* is free, subsequent rolls in that turn cost 1 more than the last: roll 6 and they return, roll 1 and they get a random planar encounter / sub-plot.]

Every point of MtG damage is equivalent to 10 D&D damage, so a Lightning Bolt which does 3 MtG damage does 30 D&D damage and a 1/1 Lanowar Elf does 10 D&D damage, has 10 HPs, and costs at least 10 copper to put for the night, but doesn't cost anything to sacrifice unless the Innkeeper watches you through the spyhole and calls the town guard.

Might consider making rules for both Limited and Constructed play.
I really really really want to start calling Magic cards "scrolls". :)
Maybe I'll make some rules for a "Scrollcaster" class, sounds cool.
Hmmm... CCG RPG?
...RPCCG?
MMORPCCG?

Anyway, character generation is awesome, every game needs more of it, especially CCGs:
Character packs - stats (like avatars), items...
Story Packs - locations (like planeshift), NPCs, equipment, goals/quests...

Mulling it over.

Ok, so now I hear on Monday Night Magic that there's an article kinda relating to this on the Star City Games site, but I think SSGs rips people off like so many profiteering card dealers do, so I think I'll not go there to read it.

Goblins

2010-01-28T10:12:00.000-08:00

Welcome to my Goblin library, feel free to mill about.

Hover your mouse over "View all" to pause and take your time.

Alernative Magic Format: The UnSideboard

2010-01-13T07:10:00.000-08:00

There's a new Magic: the Gathering format designed to make any of your favorite decks and any of your favorite formats even more favoriter! :D Yes, it can be played with any deck in any format. Sound interesting? It is. Do this...

Get your favorite deck and invest the cost of lunch in a sideboard made with cards from Unhinged and Unglued. Hey, cheapskates, it's only 15 cards, you can afford it. ;) It adds hundreds of cards to your card pool for all sorts of wacky high-jinks which bring your favorite deck to an all new level of awesomenessosity, making even your tired old worn-out decks new and fun. Yes, Spike, Magic CAN be fun. :) In fact, if your games are lacking fun, you need to remind yourself MtG is a game and SHOULD be fun and the UnSideboard is how you do it.

Unsets like Unhinged and Unglued are awesome, this is undeniable, even people who know they will never play an UnGame in their life often buy one or two UnBoosters here and there for the fun of it, because they're awesome. ^_^ So, people DO like UnSets, they DO buy UnBoosters, they just only buy a few boosters. Ok, that's fine, let's take that trend in consumer spending and put it to good use so our consumers walk away with product they will actually use. They haven't been buying enough for UnDecks, but they HAVE been buying enough for UnSideboards. :)

Now, Mr. Rosewater, here's what you do to make UnSet cards for fun and profit: stop wasting money on token cards people don't want, take them out of boosters and put them in packs of their own so people can order the tokens they want from dealers. Cha-CHING! There you go WotC, saving money, can't argue with that. Now replace the token slot in the booster with an UnCard, increasing market exposure for your beloved Unproduct line and reminding stodgy ole Spikes not to burn themselves out due to the monotony of dream-crushing. Put a laugh in every booster, keep consumers happy, $$$, you win. :)

UnSideboard. GO! ^_^

Magic Theme Deck: Order of the Stick.

2009-11-01T13:05:00.000-08:00

MtG Duel Deck idea based on Order of the Stick

Deck of the Stick?
Order of the Deck?

Magic: the Stickening!

Roy Greenhilt - Agrus Kos
Haley Starshine redhead CG female thief - "A wise man once said, 'You've got to know when to hold 'em, know when to fold 'em." Trophy Hunter Brigid, Hero of Kinsbaile Dawnray Archer Lady Celeria
Elan CG male bard - "Woooooooooo! I'm invisible!" Elvish Bard - All creatures able to block Elvish Bard do so.
Durkon Thundershield dwarven LG priest Dwarven Lieutenant or Kithkin Healer
Varsuvius androgynous CN wizard - "I prepared Explosive Runes this morning." - Capricious Sorcerer
Blackwing (V's familiar) - Raven Familiar + Raven's Crime
Explosive Runes - Seal of Fire
Belkar Bitterleaf halfling CE ranger barbarian - Godo, Bandit Warlord
mister scruffy - Glittering Lynx
Celia (sylph lawyer girl) - Spellstutter Sprite
Therkla - half orc ninja with a crush on Elan - Walker of Secret Ways
ghost-dad wizard
Banjo the clown - Stuffy Doll
O-Chul - Konda, Lord of Eiganjo
Kobold Oracle - Rohgahh of Kher Keep
Roy's Resurrection - Resurrection

Xykon (lich) "Sacrificing minions: is there any problem it can't solve?" Dralnu, Lich Lord
Xycon's mount - Tattered Drake
Redcloak (goblin priest) - Frogtosser Banneret
hobgoblin priest
The Creature in the Darkness "Your broken corpses will taste delicious lightly seasoned with nutmeg."
The Linear Guild - Minion Reflector
Nale Fi/Ma/Th goatee
Sabine succubus
Helga Firehelm Fem loki cleric - Irini Sengir
Thog - Orcish Veteran
Yikyik - Kobold Overlord
Zz'dtri male drow wizard
Leeky Windstaff - "Druids always choose the hard way- it encourages natural selection." - Awakener Druid
Hobgoblins around Azure City - Rise of the Hobgoblins
Empty the Warrens
Goblin Warrens
Miko Miyazaki (Samurai Paladin)- "Slash! Slash! Slash! Slash! Slash!" - Fumiko the Lowblood
Kubota the corrupt noble - Hand of Cruelty
Imp - Demon's Jester
Black Dragon's killed by Varsuvius - 2 Ebon Dragon
The Dungeon of Dorukan - Volrath's Dungeon / Enter the Dungeon (Un)
Random ninjas - Okiba-Gang Shinobi

Mr. Jones and Mr. Phil Rodriguez (WotC lawyers) - Minister of Impediments

MtG Podcasters: Keeping the Magic Going

2009-10-27T13:52:00.000-07:00

It seems like God just hasn't wanted me to play Magic, so I took a few months off from even trying, but I missed the MtG podcasting community so much I had to pop back in for a listen. I no longer play Magic, I no longer have a collection (well, one pauper deck), but I can't help but get a kick out of Monday Night Magic, Mana Nation, The Mana Pool, and The Magic Sock. I love those guys. ^_^

Maybe someday I'll manage to get back into Magic. Maybe I'll save up for a bunch of commons on the secondary market and get a Pauper league going. Heck, I've met a surprising number of homeless people who played Magic and Pauper Magic really is quite affordable even for most of them. That would be a hoot, a homeless Pauper league. Maybe WotC PR could toss a few pauper decks to disaster victims in shelters, get people's minds off their troubles and get some good press from paupers in the papers. Worth looking into? IDK, maybe, I would not know who to talk to and I lack motivation these days.

What have I been up to? Becoming a Cynic (in the Socratic sense), being reclusive, driving off eternal love-slaves, hiding from the world, deleting online networking accounts. Basically, I've just been laying around on my tree-couch (it's not a tree-house, it's just a tree-couch) reading Robert Asprin's books, the Another Fine Myth series and the Phule's Company series, fun stuff, general absurdity, kinda reminds me of Douglas Adams' Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy. Maybe someday I'll stop reading books and start writing them. What if, what if, what if... I'm such a dreamer. :)

Indefinite Sabbatical

2009-04-04T09:10:00.000-07:00

My problems getting MTGO have burnt me out on MtG. It didn't help to have 95% of my cards stolen. I think I'll take an indefinite sabbatical from MtG and branch out to see if anything else in the universe interests me. I guess I'll start a Comic and Games Blog. :)

Zendikar Spoiler

2009-04-02T14:03:00.000-07:00

On March 25th, Wizards of the Coast announced Zendikar, the October 2009 set of 249 cards, code-named "Live", or ZEN for short:

"Deadly Perils, Priceless Treasures"

Here are my predictions:

Zendikar will be Magic's version of...

Maztica

The set will be MesoAmerican: a mythical conglomeration of Mayan, Aztec, Incan, Toltec, and Spanish culture. Expect cards with stone ziggurats, blood sacrifices, gold artifacts, obelisks, UG Yuan-Ti Snake Druids, WUBRG Couatl plumed serpents / feathered dragons, GR jaguar-themed warriors to revamp your Nacatl Zoo decks, and an awesome Blue-based Pirate deck which dominates the last set of the block.

After Zendikar... Dark Elves. Flavor text will even use the word "Drow". ...because we love Drow Elves and WotC needs to give them their own set so we can have some awesome art of hot onyx-skinned Golgari Elf chicks. Are you with me? :-)

...but seriously, what do I know? This is all 100% completely unfounded speculation. How am I supposd to know any of this? What am I, a wizard? You want me to look into my crystal ball? Ok, I see your future... OMG! WAIT! I CAN see it! I can see... YOU! ...listening to people... people who ramble about things they have no idea about! ^_^

...but seriously, there will be alot of talk about the Mayan calendar as we approach the end of the world in 2012, so play some Magic, you don't have much time left.

Zendikar previews start September 7, 2009 on magicthegathering.com

Zendikar Card Spoiler Leak!

2009-04-01T13:53:00.000-07:00

Old joke, but I like it. :)

Check out the MTG Salvation Rumor Mill

Worst Magic Card Ever: Mistform Sliver

2009-04-01T12:41:00.000-07:00

Today I defend yet another card people think may be...

THE WORST MAGIC CARD EVER:

Mistform Sliver

Mistform Sliver is probably THE WORST SLIVER EVER. Not much argument here. Surprised I said that? Don't be surprised. It's probably the worst Sliver ever.

...but it was an awesome Changeling. Too bad people never got into changelings.

The main problem with Mistform Sliver was player psychology. The only people who want Slivers are people making Sliver decks. When people make Sliver decks, they want Slivers, but Mistform Sliver is all about making Slivers something else, like Merfolk, Wizards, and Faeries, but that's pointless in a Sliver deck, and what Merfolk, Wizard, or Faerie player ever thinks about splashing Slivers? People making Merfolk, Wizard, or Faerie decks want Merfolk, Wizards, and Faeries, not Slivers, or Mistforms, and now we can add the poor Changelings to the ranks of the sad and lonely Mistforms, ostracized for getting along with every tribe instead of being racist.

But oh, the possibilities people missed.

Consider Merfolk, they love to tap repeatedly: find the Slivers with tap abilities, make them Merfolk and tap away.

Or Fairies. Add Scion of Oona to Mistform Sliver and you get:
Other Fairie(Sliver) creatures you control get +1/+1.
Other Fairies(Slivers) you control have shroud.

The saddest part is I don't think most people ever realized Mistform Sliver's potential before Hivestone and Changeling came out, so now almost any glory Mistform Sliver could get from breaking cards will probably go to something else, like Amoeboid Changeling.

Amoeboid Changelings can turn Bitterblossom tokens into Virulent Slivers.
...and make Slivers count as Fairies, while being both a Sliver and a Fairie itself.

Poor Mistform Sliver, you were ahead of your time until you were obsolete.

Rumor Mill: Tarshards, Marisi Twinclaw, Ethercaste Knight, Aven Mimic

2009-03-31T14:09:00.000-07:00

Thanks to Calvin at dragonguardian.com
, for the rumored spoils.

Here are my thoughts:

Tarshards: Where's my Divining Top when I need it? :)

Marisi Twinclaw: I was expecting multi-hybrids (love'em!), but something about this card doesn't look right to me. Ok, Cat's are White, Double Strike is Red, and 2/4 is Green, but is it THAT Green? It looks we might have to pay middle-color mana if we want their allied color's keywords, instead of getting keywords directly from their colors.

Ether-caste Knight: Yep, Exalted is more Blue than White now.

Aven Mimic: Blue Aggro Wizards?! O_O AWESOME!! ^_^ ...except it's a bird. :-/ I hope they're time to turn it into an Angel Mimic, that would totally rock! Angel Wizards! YES!! ^_^

Now Tarshards makes me wonder if Black is getting sifters, like Catalogue or Commune with Nature. It needs it.

Divine vs Demonic: Divine <3's Demonic Sideboard Supplement

2009-03-31T10:52:00.000-07:00

[Not a WotC product, only a marketing exercise.]

Imagine getting an awesome Duel Pack, like Divine vs Demonic:

Divine:
1 Akroma, Angel of Wrath
1 Luminous Angel
1 Reya Dawnbringer
2 Angel of Mercy
1 Serra Angel
1 Twilight Shepherd
2 Faith's Fetters
2 Icatian Priest
2 Angelic Page
2 Charging Paladin
2 Venerable Monk
1 Angelic Protector
2 Serra Advocate
2 Sustainer of the Realm
1 Healing Salve
1 Angelsong
2 Otherwordly Journey
1 Pacifism
1 Serra's Boon
1 Angelic Benediction
1 Righteous Cause
1 Serra's Embrace
1 Angel's Feather
2 Marble Diamond
24 Plains
2 Secluded Steppe

Demonic:
1 Lord of the Pit
1 Fallen Angel
1 Riever Demon
1 Kuro, Pitlord
2 Dark Ritual
1 Duress
1 Demonic Tutor
1 Abyssal Gatekeeper
1 Foul Imp
1 Daggerclaw Imp
2 Dusk Imp
2 Overeager Apprentice
1 Stinkweed Imp
1 Soot Imp
2 Demon's Jester
1 Souldrinker
1 Abyssal Specter
1 Cackling Imp
2 Unholy Strength
1 Cruel Edict
1 Dark Banishing
1 Oni Possession
1 Barter in Blood
2 Breeding Pit
1 Promise of Power
1 Corrupt
1 Consume Spirit
1 Demon's Horn
24 Swamp
2 Barren Moor

Now imagine both decks are so totally AWESOME you want to take the most awesome cards from both decks and make and even MORE AWESOME deck!

Well, now you can! :-D

Sideboard Supplement Pack: Divine <3's Demonic
[15 Cards]
11 Commons
3 Uncommons
1 Rare

4 Mourning Thrull 1W/B (W/B can be paid with W or B.) Creature - Thrull Common
Flying. Lifelink.
1/1

4 Beckon Apparition W/B Instant Common Remove target card in a graveyard from the game. Put a 1/1 W/B Spirit creature token with flying into play.

3 Edge of the Divinity W/B Enchantment - Aura Enchant creature Common
As long as enchanted creature is White, it gets +1/+2.
As long as enchanted creature is Black, it gets +2/+1.

1 Batwing Brume 1W/B Instant Uncommon
Prevent all combat damage that would be dealt this turn if W was spent to play Batwing Brume.
Each player loses 1 life for each attacking creature he or she controls if B was spent to play Batwing Brume. (Do both if WB was spent.)

1 Orzhov Guildmage W/B W/B Creature - Human Wizard Uncommon
2W: Target player gains 1 life.
2B: Each player loses 1 life.
2/2

1 Gwyllion Hedge-Mage 2w/b Creature - Hag Wizard Uncommon
When Gwyllion Hedge-Mage comes into play, if you control two or more Plains, you may put a 1/1 white Kithkin Soldier creature token into play.
When Gwyllion Hedge-Mage comes into play, if you control two or more Swamps, you may put a -1/-1 counter on target creature.
2/2

1 Deathbringer Liege 2 w/b w/b w/b Creature - Horror Rare
Other white creatures you control get +1/+1. O
ther black creatures you control get +1/+1.
Whenever you play a white spell, you may tap target creature.
Whenever you play a black spell, you may destroy target creature if it's tapped.
3/4

So, what do you think?

...awesome? :-)

...or MORE AWESOME!! ^_^

A Dream

2009-03-30T12:09:00.001-07:00

My dream this morning:

A WotC cruiseship came in and started unloading cars onto the beach, but they didn't say exactly wha they were doing. Everyone around was really excited and assumed they were giving away cars. I woke up thinking, "Forget the cars, I want to go with them on the ship!"

The Future of Wizards of the Coast

2009-03-24T11:37:00.000-07:00

This is what I would say if I ran WotC...

WotC will be integrating several brands through cross-over products: a set of Magic & Miniatures cards will double as both Magic cards and Miniatures stat cards, some of your favorite Magic cards will have Miniatures (and vice versa). Magic PlayMATs will double as PlayMAPs for Miniatures and roleplaying while D&D will introduce new character classes which bring your Magic deck into the game:

Magic cards will be roleplaying suppliments.
Roleplaying suppliments will be Magic cards.
You will be able to play D&D by playing Magic.

Magic Pro-Tour events will be immortalized as D&D novels:

"The leaves of the primoridal forest shone like foil, shimmering in the light as a lone elf sprang from the foliage, fighting off a wave of dizziness from being conjured, preparing to unleash the power that would unlock his Planeswalker's scroll to summon reinforcements to his side. He was born to do this, he was...
...a Llanowar Elf."

[Lvl 1, 5 Damage, 5 HP, Tap:Green]

Imagine a new kind of Magic card.
...that has a Miniature to RP with.
Can you imagine it?

This consolidation of product lines will create a more cohesive social structure uniting and solidifying previously seperate consumer bases. Roleplayers, cardplayers, collectors, and readers can much more easily flow from one line of products to another, to whichever they prefer, as each product advertises another: cards have miniatures, miniatures have cards, miniatures are great for role-playing, roleplaying books relate to novels, novels are based on card tournaments, etc.. I also like this idea because...

Magic needs a Succubus tribe:

Am I right or am I right?

I love the Pacifism card with Akroma on it, from Mirrodin. We should use that art for Pacifism in the Core Sets from now on, instead of that silly daisy-chain zombie. Don’t get me wrong, I like the zombie, it’s fun, but look what fun did to UnSet sales. I’m telling you, if I had gotten a Mirrodin Pacifism in my first Unlimited Starter Pack I wouldn’t have thrown all my cards away for being nothing but flowers and jewelry. ...and I’d still have that Black Lotus. WotC will focus more on hot chicks and dragons and such and save the G-rated stuff for Pokimon. [Pokimon! :D Pure and wholesome fun for children and parents. Almost but not quite totally unlike hot chicks and dragons.] THE WORLD NEEDS EVIL CHICKS IN BLACK LEATHER. Chain-mail bikinis or bust!

TOGTFO.

...and dragons:

...and Dungeons & Dragons shall now be known as...

Hot Chicks & Dragons.

Ok, maybe I wouldn't say it *exactly* like that, but these are damned good ideas and WotC should make it happen.

The Worst Magic Card Ever: Sorrow's Path

2009-03-20T07:04:00.000-07:00

Sorrow's Path Land Tap: Exchange two of opponent's blocking creatures. This exchange may not cause an illegal block. Sorrow's Path does 2 damage to you and 2 damage to each creature you control whenever it is tapped.

How about Spitemare and Swans with provoke?

Ok, here's a proto-decklist:

4 Sorrow's Path

4 Boros Signet 1+tap:rw (our mana curve is high)
4 Mogg Maniac 1r Creature - Goblin Whenever Mogg Maniac is dealt damage, it deals that much damage to target opponent. 1/1 (Tap Sorrow's path in response to damage assigned to him and get the most from his death)
3 Swans of Bryn Argol 2 w/u w/u Creature - Bird Spirit Flying If a source would deal damage to Swans of Bryn Argoll, prevent that damage. The source's controller draws cards equal to the damage prevented this way. 4/3
2 Spitemare 2 r/w r/w Creature - Elemental Whenever Spitemare is dealt damage, it deals that much damage to target creature or player. 3/3
2 Stuffy Doll 5 Artifact Creature - Construct As Stuffy Doll comes into play, choose a player. Stuffy Doll is indestructible. Whenever Stuffy Doll is dealt damage, it deals that much damage to the chosen player. Tap: Stuffy Doll deals 1 damage to itself. 0/1
3 Nemesis Mask 3 Artifact - Equipment All creatures able to block equipped creature do so. Equip 3
2 Volcano Hellion 2rr 6/5 Volcano Hellion has echo {X}, where X is your life total.
When Volcano Hellion comes into play, it deals an amount of damage of your choice to you and target creature. The damage can't be prevented.
4 Angel's Grace w Instant Split second. You can't lose the game this turn and your opponents can't win the game this turn. Until end of turn, damage that would reduce your life total to less than 1 reduces it to 1 instead.
2 Sustaining Spirit 1w Creature - Angel Spirit Cumulative upkeep (At the beginning of your upkeep, put an age counter on this permanent, then sacrifice it unless you pay its upkeep cost for each age counter on it.) Damage that would reduce your life total to less than 1 reduces it to 1 instead.
3 Pariah 2w (3)Enchantment - Aura - Enchant creature. All damage that would be dealt to you is dealt to enchanted creature instead.
4 Shivan Meteor 3rr (Suspend 2: 1rr) Sorcery Shivan Meteor deals 13 damage to target creature.
2 Awe Strike w Instant The next time target creature would deal damage this turn, prevent that damage. You gain life equal to the damage prevented this way. (turn
2 Hallow w Instant Prevent all damage target spell would deal this turn. You gain life equal to the damage prevented this way. (Shivan Meteor + Hallow = 13 life for 4 mana.)

Sideboard, Side-board, Side Board! ...then UnSideboard.

2009-03-17T06:04:00.000-07:00

What is a sideboard?

Sideboard (Alt: side-board & side board. No matter how you spell it, you need it.)
[It's not a noun, it's an imperative.]
Definition: The last 15 cards in your 75 card deck, required to have fun and win game two.

Casual or Competitive, for money or for fun, you should make a sideboard and I'll tell you why. I'll first start with the Casual reasons to sideboard, because the Competitive reasons are a bit more obvious.

Casual: If you only play for fun, you might think you don't need to sideboard for your Squirrel deck, but here's why you should. Chances are you'll eventually play someone who's getting way too much satisfaction from stomping your Squirrels into the ground and they're not being at all polite about it, that's when you bring in your sideboard and teach them to treat Squirrels with more respect or pay the consequences. ;) A more important reason: sideboards break the monotony, they turn one deck into many decks, you can practically go from mono-blue to mono-red inbetween games, from Mill to Burn in 15 cards or less, so you can tailor your favorite deck to your mood and play whatever you feel like playing without having to make multiple decks. Sideboarding is an economical way to help prevent burnout, it keeps the game interesting.

Casual Sideboarding Idea:

UnSideboard - Just about everybody likes UnSets, but since they aren't tournament legal alot of semi-casual or pro players only buy a couple boosters instead of a whole deck's worth and they never get to see how fun it is to actually PLAY an UnSet; to take avantage of this trend in spending, make a hilarious UnSideboard for your favorite deck. Take your semi-Casual play to the next UnLevel. The Divine vs Demonic duel pack is begging for an Infernal Spawn of Evil. ;) ["It's coming!"]

Competitive: Alot of amatuer players don't make sideboards, that's one reason they're amatuers. If you want to play competitively, the reason to sideboard is simple: No sideboard = No trophy. How many people win Pro Tours without sideboards? Not many. I Googled "won without a sideboard" and got ONE hit, ONE, and it was about playtesting, not the Pro Tour. If you compete you will be surrounded by people who all think they have the best deck and they typically think that for good reasons, so you need cards which efficiently disrupt their decks while helping yours, but there are so many decks out there that the cards you have in your main deck will probably not work well against ALL of them, thus you will have weaknesses against specific decks and weakness does not win trophies. Also, if your deck is any good, serious players will have their friends play decks specifically designed to beat yours in the early rounds and chances are pretty good they will beat you since they are specifially dedicated to exploiting the weaknesses of your deck: your color, your tribe, your mana curve, there are plenty of things to exploit and they WILL be exploited.

Friday Night of the Living Dead

2009-03-13T11:07:00.000-07:00

Spice up your Friday night gaming with rotting flesh. :)

There are 229 Zombie cards in Magic the Gathering.

There are 8 Zombie cards in Conflux:
Dreadwing Creature - Zombie 1 1
Rotting Rats Creature - Zombie Rat 1 1
Zombie Outlander Creature - Zombie Scout 2 2
Sedraxis Alchemist Creature - Zombie Wizard 2 2
Shambling Remains Creature - Zombie Horror 4 3
Scornful Æther-Lich Artifact Creature - Zombie Wizard 2 4
Infectious Horror Creature - Zombie Horror 2 2
Grixis Slavedriver Creature - Zombie Giant 4 4

There are 35 other Zombie cards in Standard.

Hideaway Lands = Hideaway Combos = Hideaway Decks

2009-03-11T15:44:00.000-07:00

I don't know if people already put this together, but I haven't been able to find any lists, so here it is. I've figured out that the Hideaway lands not only have individual creatures associated with them, but they have so many obvious combos that you could practically build decks around the Hideaway themes.

[btw, mana symbols are missing]

Howltooth HOLLOW Land Hideaway (This land comes into play tapped. When it does, look at the top four cards of your library, remove one from the game face down, then put the rest on the bottom of your library.)
: Add to your mana pool.
, : You may play the removed card without paying its mana cost if each player has no cards in hand.

HOLLOWborn Barghest Creature - Demon Hound At the beginning of your upkeep, if you have no cards in hand, each opponent loses 2 life.
At the beginning of each opponent's upkeep, if that player has no cards in hand, he or she loses 2 life. 7 6

Support:

TideHOLLOW Sculler Artifact Creature - Zombie When Tidehollow Sculler comes into play, target opponent reveals his or her hand and you choose a nonland card from it. Remove that card from the game.
When Tidehollow Sculler leaves play, return the removed card to its owner's hand. 2 2

Tidehollow Strix Artifact Creature - Bird Flying
Deathtouch (Whenever this creature deals damage to a creature, destroy that creature.) 2 1 [I'm not sure about this one, but it is nice. Needs first-strike or toughness though.]

HOLLOWsage Creature - Merfolk Wizard Whenever Hollowsage becomes untapped, you may have target player discard a card. 2 2

Nyxathid 1BB Creature - Elemental As Nyxathid comes into play, choose an opponent.
Nyxathid gets -1/-1 for each card in the chosen player's hand. 7 7

Rotting Rats Creature - Zombie Rat When Rotting Rats comes into play, each player discards a card. Unearth

Cunning Lethemancer Creature - Human Wizard At the beginning of your upkeep, each player discards a card.
---------

MOSSwort Bridge Land Hideaway (This land comes into play tapped. When it does, look at the top four cards of your library, remove one from the game face down, then put the rest on the bottom of your library.)
: Add to your mana pool.
, : You may play the removed card without paying its mana cost if creatures you control have total power 10 or greater.

MOSSbridge Troll Creature - Troll If Mossbridge Troll would be destroyed, regenerate it. Tap any number of untapped creatures you control other than Mossbridge Troll with total power 10 or greater: Mossbridge Troll gets +20/+20 until end of turn. 5 5

Support:

MOSStodon Creature - Plant Elephant : Target creature with power 5 or greater gains trample until end of turn. 5 3

As a pauper, I am so glad Rite of Consumption is a common.

----------

Blue was a bit harder to piece together.

Shelldock Isle Land Hideaway (This land comes into play tapped. When it does, look at the top four cards of your library, remove one from the game face down, then put the rest on the bottom of your library.)
: Add to your mana pool.
, : You may play the removed card without paying its mana cost if a library has twenty or fewer cards in it.

Isleback Spawn Creature - Kraken Shroud Isleback Spawn gets +4/+8 as long as a library has twenty or fewer cards in it. 4 8

I couldn't find anything else with isle or spawn or shell in the name which seemed relevant, so I just started to list all the millers until I found something interesting.

Memory Sluice
Cathartic Adept
Drowner Initiate
Merrow Witsniper
Ink Dissolver
Research the Deep
Grimoire Thief
Drowner of Secrets
Ambassador Laquatus

Jace Beleren Planeswalker - Jace
[+2]: Each player draws a card.
[-1]: Target player draws a card.
[-10]: Target player puts the top twenty cards of his or her library into his or her graveyard. 3

BING!

Although there are plenty of nice millers which can probably get the job done just as fast.

I'll probably revist this combo later, because I sense something big lurking beneath the surface. Maybe MANY big things lurking ALL OVER. ;)

---------

Here's an interesting one. :)

Spinerock KNOLL Land Hideaway (This land comes into play tapped. When it does, look at the top four cards of your library, remove one from the game face down, then put the rest on the bottom of your library.)
: Add to your mana pool.
, : You may play the removed card without paying its mana cost if an opponent was dealt 7 or more damage this turn.

KNOLLspine Dragon 5RR [7] Creature - Dragon Flying
When Knollspine Dragon comes into play, you may discard your hand and draw cards equal to the damage dealt to target opponent this turn. 7 5

Support:

KNOLLspine Invocation 1rr Enchantment , Discard a card with converted mana cost X [7!]: Knollspine Invocation deals X[7!] damage to target creature or player.

Arbiter of KNOLLridge 6W [7] Creature - Giant Wizard Vigilance
When Arbiter of Knollridge comes into play, each player's life total becomes the highest life total among all players. 5 5

All those were found when I looked for "Knoll". I thought I'd look for spells which did seven damage, so I looked for all the cards in Standard which had the word seven in them and how many were there? Seven! Starting with...

Stomping Slabs 2r Sorcery Reveal the top seven cards of your library, then put those cards on the bottom of your library in any order. If a card named Stomping Slabs was revealed this way, Stomping Slabs deals 7 damage to target creature or player.

...and ending with...

Nicol Bolas, Planeswalker Planeswalker - Bolas +3: Destroy target noncreature permanent.
-2: Gain control of target creature.
-9: Nicol Bolas, Planeswalker deals 7 damage to target player. That player discards seven cards, then sacrifices seven permanents.

Malkovich Malkovich Malkovich. MALKOVICH!

I decided to look for other 7 Power creatures which cost 7 Mana, to use with Knollspine Invocation: Loamdragger Giant, Dusdale Wurm, and...

Hollowborn Barghest Creature - Demon Hound At the beginning of your upkeep, if you have no cards in hand, each opponent loses 2 life.
At the beginning of each opponent's upkeep, if that player has no cards in hand, he or she loses 2 life. 7 6 [Works well with Knollspine Invocation's discard. Maybe a Hollow/Knoll deck could work.]

How about just 7 power?

Nyxathid 1BB Creature - Elemental As Nyxathid comes into play, choose an opponent.
Nyxathid gets -1/-1 for each card in the chosen player's hand. 7 7

How convenient. :) Add Raven's Crime and Flame Jab for cheap discard to trigger HowlTooth Hollow. Knollspine Invocation, Hollowborn Barghest, Nyxathid(+Rite of Consumption/Soul's Fire?), Stomping Slabs, and Flame Jab, trigger Spinerock Knoll as well as do massive amounts of damage.

---------

Windbrisk Heights Land Hideaway (This land comes into play tapped. When it does, look at the top four cards of your library, remove one from the game face down, then put the rest on the bottom of your library.)
: Add to your mana pool.
, : You may play the removed card without paying its mana cost if you attacked with three or more creatures this turn.

Windbrisk Raptor Creature - Bird Flying
Attacking creatures you control have lifelink. 5 7

That's the only one that was *obviously* linked, but there are plenty of ways to make lots of creatures to Lifelink:

Militia's Pride Tribal Enchantment - Kithkin Whenever a nontoken creature you control attacks, you may pay . If you do, put a 1/1 white Kithkin Soldier creature token into play tapped and attacking.

Patrol Signaler Creature - Kithkin Soldier , : Put a 1/1 white Kithkin Soldier creature token into play. ( is the untap symbol.) 1 1

Martial Coup Sorcery Put X 1/1 white Soldier creature tokens into play. If X is 5 or more, destroy all other creatures.

Spectral Procession Sorcery ( can be paid with any two mana or with . This card's converted mana cost is 6.) Put three 1/1 white Spirit creature tokens with flying into play.

Mobilization Enchantment Soldier creatures have vigilance. (Attacking doesn't cause them to tap.) : Put a 1/1 white Soldier creature token into play.

Kinsbaile Borderguard Creature - Kithkin Soldier Kinsbaile Borderguard comes into play with a +1/+1 counter on it for each other Kithkin you control.
When Kinsbaile Borderguard is put into a graveyard from play, put a 1/1 white Kithkin Soldier creature token into play for each counter on it. 1 1

Cenn's Enlistment Sorcery Put two 1/1 white Kithkin Soldier creature tokens into play. Retrace (You may play this card from your graveyard by discarding a land card in addition to paying its other costs.)

Springjack Shepherd Creature - Kithkin Wizard Chroma - When Springjack Shepherd comes into play, put a 0/1 white Goat creature token into play for each white mana symbol in the mana costs of permanents you control. 1 2

Summon the School Tribal Sorcery - Merfolk Put two 1/1 blue Merfolk Wizard creature tokens into play. Tap four untapped Merfolk you control: Return Summon the School from your graveyard to your hand.

Ajani Goldmane Planeswalker - Ajani [+1]: You gain 2 life.
[-1]: Put a +1/+1 counter on each creature you control. Those creatures gain vigilance until end of turn.
[-6]: Put a white Avatar creature token into play with "This creature's power and toughness are each equal to your life total." 4

Elspeth, Knight-Errant Planeswalker - Elspeth +1: Put a 1/1 white Soldier creature token into play.
+1: Target creature gets +3/+3 and gains flying until end of turn.
-8: For the rest of the game, artifacts, creatures, enchantments, and lands you control are indestructible. 4

Knight-Captain of Eos Creature - Human Knight When Knight-Captain of Eos comes into play, put two 1/1 white Soldier creature tokens into play.
, Sacrifice a Soldier: Prevent all combat damage that would be dealt this turn. 2 2

Cloudgoat Ranger Creature - Giant Warrior When Cloudgoat Ranger comes into play, put three 1/1 white Kithkin Soldier creature tokens into play. Tap three untapped Kithkin you control: Cloudgoat Ranger gets +2/+0 and gains flying until end of turn. 3 3

Sigil of the Empty Throne Enchantment Whenever you play an enchantment spell, put a 4/4 white Angel creature token with flying into play.

Mirror-Sigil Sergeant Creature - Rhino Soldier Trample
At the beginning of your upkeep, if you control a blue permanent, you may put a token into play that's a copy of Mirror-Sigil Sergeant. 4 4

----------

Now, what did I miss? I'm sure I missed alot. :)

Mono-Red Elves

2009-03-11T14:36:00.000-07:00

Tom wanted Mono-Red Elves, so I did my best. :)

You could use all Mountains, but at first glace the closest you could get to Mono-Red Elves is Red Green Elves, or Red Green White:

Radha, Heir to Keld rg
Yavimaya Barbarian rg
Knotvine Mystic rgw
Mayael the Anima rgw
Marhault Elsdragon 3rrg

Radha, Heir to Keld rg Legendary Creature - Elf Warrior Whenever Radha, Heir to Keld attacks, you may add rr to your mana pool. Tap: Add g to your mana pool. (planar chaos)

Yavimaya Barbarian rg Creature - Elf Barbarian Protection from blue 2 2 (invasion)

Knotvine Mystic rgw Creature - Elf Druid , tap: Add rgw to your mana pool. 2 2 (conflux)

Mayael the Anima rgw Legendary Creature - Elf Shaman , 3rgw: Look at the top five cards of your library. You may put a creature card with power 5 or greater from among them into play. Put the rest on the bottom of your library in any order. 2 3 (alara)

Marhault Elsdragon 3rrg Legendary Creature - Elf Warrior Rampage 1 (Whenever this creature becomes blocked, it gets +1/+1 until end of turn for each creature blocking it beyond the first.) 4 6

You could paint them red after they're in play with spells like Crimson Wisps.

You could paint them Red before they're in play with Painter's Servant, but that would make them Multicolored-Red.

Other than that, you'll have to go to the only Mono-Red Elves there are:

Fire-belly Changeling 1r
Blades of Velis Vel 1r
Taurean Mauler 2r
Changeling Berserker 3r
Warspike Changeling 3r

You can use Mono-Red "Elves" with spells like Shared Animosity (2r) and Door of Destinies (4), naming Elves, but you could just as easily name it Mono-Red Zombie Squirrels.

Door of Destinies 4 Artifact As Door of Destinies comes into play, choose a creature type. Whenever you play a Zombie Squirrel spell, put a charge counter on Door of Destinies. Zombie Squirrels you control get +1/+1 for each charge counter on Door of Destinies.

Note you only have to "play" the spell, not have have it resolve, so this would be nice against control decks and you may also consider bouncing and recursion, like Fossil Find r/g.

Viola! Mono-Red Elves. :)

Elves, Squirrels, what's the diference? ^_^

But if you stray from your colors just a tad, look what you can get!

Lord of the Undead Squirrels 1bb Creature - Zombie Other Zombie Squirrel creatures get +1/+1. 1b,Tap: Return target Zombie Squrriel card from your graveyard to your hand. 2/2

...endless recursion of Nameless Inversion?

SQUIRREL POWER! ^_^

------------------------

Blades of Velis Vel 1r Tribal Instant - Shapeshifter Changeling (This card is every creature type at all times.) Up to two target creatures each get +2/+0 and gain all creature types until end of turn.

Fire-Belly Changeling 1r Creature - Shapeshifter Changeling (This card is every creature type at all times.) r: Fire-Belly Changeling gets +1/+0 until end of turn. Play this ability no more than twice each turn. 1 1

Mutavault Land tap: Add 1 to your mana pool. 1: Mutavault becomes a 2/2 creature with all creature types until end of turn. It's still a land.

Taurean Mauler 2r Creature - Shapeshifter Changeling (This card is every creature type at all times.) Whenever an opponent plays a spell, you may put a +1/+1 counter on Taurean Mauler.

Changeling Berserker 3r Creature - Shapeshifter Changeling (This card is every creature type at all times.) Haste Champion a creature (When this comes into play, sacrifice it unless you remove another creature you control from the game. When this leaves play, that card returns to play.) 5 3

War-Spike Changeling 3r Creature - Shapeshifter Changeling (This card is every creature type at all times.) r: War-Spike Changeling gains first strike until end of turn.

Door of Destinies 4 Artifact As Door of Destinies comes into play, choose a creature type. Whenever you play a spell of the chosen type [Elf], put a charge counter on Door of Destinies. Creatures you control of the chosen type get +1/+1 for each charge counter on Door of Destinies.

Shared Animosity 2r Enchantment Whenever a creature you control attacks, it gets +1/+0 until end of turn for each other attacking creature that shares a creature type with it.

Support The Magic Sock & Freedom of Speech!

2009-03-11T10:38:00.000-07:00

Ron Vitale of the Magic Sock recommended people sell their Magic on eBay instead of selling to venders, because venders usually buy for too little and sell for too much. So Star City Games blackballed Ron's podcast.

I very much agree with Ron. People in the business of trading cards are business people, which means they try to make a profit, which means they try to make sure somebody somewhere is not getting their money's worth. Who will not get their money's worth? YOU. Beckett says a card is worth X, but *I* have NEVER gotten X from a business person, not for Magic cards, not for baseball cards, not for comic books, NOTHING (probably because I've never been on ebay). I once went to my local shop for "FNM" (though I don't think was sanctioned, at least I hope it wasn't) and I thought I could sell my $20 Graven Cairns and be able to enter a $15 draft, I think I got five for it, I got $3 for my Figure of Destiny, and the guy had the nerve to say he was paying top dollar. I knew he was ripping me off and I tried to look at the bright side. I'd get to play in the draft and my rares were going to someone who might be able to afford to play them in a PTQ, but it made me really sad to see that guy was totally ok with being evil and even bragged about the deal he got. Guess what, he was the judge of the draft. ...and he played in it. He ended the draft early and the top 2 players split the prizes, he was one of them. The merchant who ran the store we played in didn't seem much better than the judge, selling booster boxes for $100 when they were eighty online. Obviously, I haven't been back to my local shop since.

Star City Games retaliating against Ron Vitale for telling people how to get their money's worth only shows us what profiteering jerks they are at Star City Games. I'm glad I can't afford to buy from them. I'd rather go to that nice white-haired lady at the flea market who even gives me a ride home at the end of the day. :)

Monday Night Magic Props

2009-03-11T07:09:00.000-07:00

The guys at the Monday Night Magic podcast liked my Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle Duel Decks so much they've awarded me the foil Unhinged land made internationally famous in Episode 145. :)

Now with MTGO... No? Now? How about now?

2009-03-09T10:50:00.000-07:00

This is me trying to get MTGO:

Dear Diary,

I found a twenty on the ground on Saturday morning, so I went straight to the flea market and bought an 8th Edition intro pack which comes with an MTGO disk, specifically so I could start playing MTGO. I would just pay the $9.99 with a credit card and actually get some cards worth having (because I didn't even get a Llanowar Elf with the Core Set), but I've never had a credit card and when I tried to get a Visa Gift Card I found out gift cards didn't come in denominations I could afford. Pro-Tour types have it easy, playing pauper is hard. :/

Anyay, after dreaming of the day for months, I FINALLY have MTGO (almost) and after 15 years of exposure to MtG I might actually be able to start PLAYING Magic rather than simply looking at a binder of a few hundred commons and struggling to build a deck worth having [I just got my playset of Virulent Slivers! :D]. When I play it will be my 12th game or so in 15 years. ...BUT... I have to install MTGO on this library computer before I get booted off and if another library patron is waiting for a computer I could be kicked off at any time over 30 minutes, and MTGO is only 96% downloaded and it's been downloading for the past HOUR AND A HALF!

!?!&$!-$+!?!

Update:
2 hours 5 minutes: 97% complete. ...but I'm on a Cable connection! Am I downloading high resolution scans of every card known to man?! How many "frames" does this thing HAVE? I could have downloaded my 30 Gig iPod by now. Oh, I know what's happening, God's waiting for me to complete the download so he can boot me off the computer. Just wait. Am I going to have to do this EVERY time I want to play MTGO?? Wait, this isn't even going to be MTGO III is it? ...

Update:
Mysterious 8th Edition MTGO CD: 2 hours 13 minutes and counting: 97% Complete
MTGO III: 0.3% Complete. 12 hours left.

I hate the world. :|

Oh look, I'm getting booted off the computer.

Next Day:
Ok, I downloaded MTGO III in half an hour and stored it in on my iPod so I won't have to keep downloading it from wizards.com. It probably took a long time yesterday due to so many people being at the library eating up bandwidth. I hopped back online and installed MTGO III, then it said there was a NEW version available! ...but I *JUST* DOWNLOADED IT! Ok, download. Now, by this time, the library is full, so bandwidth is scarce and after a couple minutes it's only downloaded 40 files with 3,066 to go. I bought MTGO yesterday, but haven't even been able to make an account.

An hour later: Downloading 1400 of 3066. If I leave this computer for 5 minutes it will shut down, so I'm stuck in this chair. My ass hurts. I need a cigarette. Oh look, I'm being booted off the computer.

Well, at least the 8th Edition Intro Pack has a "Learn to Play Magic" program where I can play against a computer. I'll at least be able to play with Grizzly Burrs and Giant Octopi. Octopi, a bit too 10,000 Leagues Under the Sea for a traditional fantasy setting, but oh well, it's better than bears.

Day 3
Installed MTGO III, again, the update completed, again, then it said the New Account Server was down for repairs. *sigh*

Day 4
Let's see what happens today and what's up with the New Account Server and wot not.
*waiting*
MTGO III is stuck checking file versions (87%) even though it says the Update is complete and it gives me the option of Launching MTGO III. What do I do? Oh well, here goes... *Launch* OMG, it worked! :D Now I have to choose a screen name. Ok, done, but wait, it's telling me I have to buy an account to activate it... but I already got an activation code with my Core Set! I can't use my activation code until I buy ANOTHER activation code for $9.99?!

Hurdle after roadblock, it's like digging a hole to China; it looks like I'm making progress slowly, but surely, but all I'm really doing is digging my grave.

Days 5, 6, 7, and 8
I made a few attempts to get some help from WotC, to see if they're going to honor their product. Nobody from WotC has been of ANY help. I figure I've been screwed out of $16, but what do they care, it's only sixteen bucks, only all the money I had to my name. Anyway, I lucked out on Day 9 and found $36 probably dropped by some Irishman celebrating Saint Alcoholics Day, so I got a $25 American Express Gift Card and walked a mile and a half to the library only to find out the library was closed and I had to walk a mile and half right back. Tired, frustrated, hungry, and sleepy, I then realized it wouldn't have done any good anyway, because the Gift Card wasn't associated with an address, so I then went through heck of a time trying to register it with my contact information. I tried to call AmEx to sort it out, but the phone I was using ended up not working, so I got to another phone. People have been talking about class action lawsuits against Amex because the gift cards are usually regected by merchants unless people somehow figure out who to call and what options on the messaging system eventually lead to the hidden "talk the customer service rep in India" option (He was Indian, I could tell). The process was frustrating (Me? Frustrated? Go figure.), but I did eventually get the card associated with the address of my local homeless mission. Now I need access to a computer, so the wait for the library continues.

DAY 10
So, now here I am at a different library which has a better reputation of not booting people off the computer after only 30 minutes, thus in theory giving me time to reinstall MTGO 3, reupdate it, then make an account with the Gift Card, but the computer seems to be going much slower than the computers at the other library, much slower, much much slower. ...and now I'm getting booted off. IT'S THURSDAY MORNING! WHY ARE THERE SO MANY PEOPLE AT THE LIBRARY ON A THURSDAY MORNING?! ...because it frustrates me, that's why.

Ok, so I hopped on a different computer hoping it was faster, and of course it isn't. A rough guestimate says I'll have to be on this computer for several hours before it's MTGO III is updated. I guess I wasted a third of my life's saving on bus fare today. (Me? Wasting money? Go figure).

I'm trying really hard not to blame WotC for all of this frustration, because they have this really cool game I've been wanting to play for 15 years.

Check this out, I figured I'd be here for a while so I decided to give the Wizards Community Forum another try, to see yet again if there's anyone I can talk to and get my Core Set Activation Code problem sorted out, but THE FORUMS ARE DOWN! It's so unbelievably coincidental, I have no problem believing it's not a coincidence: it's magic, pauper magic. I'm mystical and magical and can amaze you with my astounding ability to not accomplish the simplest of feats.

Two hours later: Hey, wow! I didn't get booted off this time! This time MTGO "Timed Out" and quit of it's own accord. This, like most things, does not please me. I need a break, I'm going to go give myself cancer. Ok nice, what timing, I'm being booted off the computer.

DAY 11
I went back to the first library early and was first on the computers, so I had all the bandwidth to myself to install then speedily download MTGO (shouldn't downloading come BEFORE installing?), but of course I got booted off the computer before it finished updating and there weren't even any library patrons in line for that computer. I'm never going to be able to even sign up for an account, much less play the damned game. I guess the only way I can play MTGO is if I give up my anti-social disorders, sell my soul into slavery for the almighty dollar, sub for some money-worshipping monkey, and do whatever bit of pointless vanity the other monkeys are trading their scraps of paper for, then I can afford to be ripped off by computer-dealing monkeys and not have to use the library, but that sounds like alot of work and I have for some time now had very little motivation to live, much less do things I don't care about (ie. everything) for people who don't care about me (ie everybody).

I am so stressed out. I need something to get my mind off my mind. You know what I like to think about when I get like this? Magic. :)

God I wish I had MTGO. :(

Maybe this time I'll get lucky...

DAY 15
By some miracle I got MTGO III updated and the new account servers were up, so I tried to use the screen name I tried to use before, but it's taken, except I can't sign into it. So I try to make a new screen name, but when I click to see if it's available, nothing happens. So I restart the program, choose a new screen name, make my order, fill out my American Express Gift Card info, and it wouldn't authenticate it. Then it told me to restart MTGO III and do it again. ... So I do it again, but when I click to register a username, nothing happens. So I restart again.

I got sidetracked helping The Magic Sock and MTGCast with their webmastering, now I'm getting booted off the computer.

Somehow my MTGO III file just got erased. Now I have to download MTGOIII_helper.exe from wizards.com onto my iPod again. It says my iPod isn't connected, so I ignore it and immediately try again and it works. I have 30 minutes before the library closes.

Download 4.2% Complete
3h 2m left

*sigh*

HEY, WOW! Someone told me how to activate my account using the 8th Edition Codes! ...and the library is closing. :/

DAY 16
Interesting how I first looked to the help section at wizards.com on day 4 or 5 and I couldn't find this help page which a forum volunteer directed me to, interesting also how when I also previously tried to email customer service as this page says I must do, it wouldn't let me, but now it works. I have to wait up to 2 days for a response. I also still have to download MTGO III Helper again or I won't be able to install and update MTGO III again and of course people have been bouncing me off the computer and eating up bandwidth, so that's taken me 5 hours already. Starting at 2hrs, I only have "8m left" until my download is complete. Watch me get booted before it's done. ... I knew it. Another day wasted.

DAY 17
I got email from Wizards saying "Your account is now active and available to play. The Core game cards will be added to your account as soon as possible. Please let me know if you need anymore help!". So I logged into my Customer Help Account to reemphasize my overlooked question about how I my American Express Gift Card wasn't authenticated even though I went through a heck of a time getting it registered and associated to an address like I was told I had to do, but when I tried to update the question, it wouldn't let me. I just finished downloding MTGO III Helper and ran MTGO III, but when it was finished it said I was running an old version. I JUST DOWNLOADED IT. So now I'm downloading 17,649 MORE files. ...and I'm getting booted off the computer.

DAY 18

Downloading. Timed out. Let's try this again. ... Let's time out again. PFT! Forget it, I'm too frustrated. I'll just content myself with some MTGCast instead.

DAY 19

Yay, progress. :/ I sat here for 2 hours and stared at the Lorwyn chicks midriff, because the troubleshooting guide says no other programs should be running when MTGO downloads. It worked. Well... it downloaded. Then it gave me the option to "Launch", so I clicked it. ...and it closed. ...and nothing else happened. Yeah...

3!
2!
1!
We are go for launch!
...
No?
Now?
How about now?
Launch?
Hello?
Oh, Hell.
...
Launch!
...
NOW!

Damn you WotC,

You should have told us we were Beta Testing MTGO! I advise you to immediately pull all advertising for Magic Online, avoid mentioning MTGO as much as you can without making current players TOO suspicious. When you finally have a viable product (ie. when the Help file is NOT as big as the actual program itself!), declare the Beta Testing complete and invite people to play the actual game. When people say, "We were still Beta Testing?!", point to an old memo sent to Public Relations and point out the where the typo was.

DAY 20

I click MTGO_NET.exe and nothing happens. I click newkicker.exe, the program starts, I click "Launch", it closes and nothing happens. I click "Repair", it starts, goes through the intial "downloading files" routine, then it stops and says "FileCopyStart -- Object reference not set to an instance of an object." I tried to repair the problem, but the repair has a problem.

So I reinstall. I launch. I see a bunch of angry guys in animal helmets busting stuff up. MTGO breaks. I'd love to tell you what kind of error it is, but I could't cut and paste the error message, all I could do was say "ok" and the it all closes, it was something about "value null". Yeah, my thoughts exactly. MTGO: value null.

Good news though, I'm told I have an account with some 8th Edition Core Set cards. Too bad I CAN'T EVEN LOG ON!

So I unintstall, so I can REinstall, expecting it to leave only the intial installation program, but not only does it erase that too, it toatlly erases EVERYTHING in the whole file, even my other programs which had nothing to do with MTGO III! So I have to download the installer again?! AGAIN?! AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN!! I'M SO SICK OF DOING ALL THIS CRAP OVER AND OVER AND GETTING NOWHERE!!

MONTH 2
In the past month, I've managed to play 2 MTGO games, both on the free server, not on my account, but that was a couple weeks ago, I've not been able to do it since, and I've never even been able to sign in to my account, which I'm told I have. I redownloaded, reinstalled, reupdated, and rerepaired, but I can't get MTGO to Launch again. "Magic: the Customer Service" has been interesting, almost productive, they fixed a problem and now I can update my Help questions after their advice doesn't help.

Vampire: the Gathering

2009-03-04T09:37:00.000-08:00

I got my first Starter Pack of Magic: the Gathering during Unlimited, but it was all flowers and jewelry, so I threw it away and got a full set of Vampire: the Jyhad (later known as Vampire: the Eternal Struggle), because Vampires are frickin cool and flowers are only so-so even if they're black. My friends roleplayed Vampire: the Maquerade and I thought I was much more likely to play Jyhad than Magic. Turns out none of my friends got into Collectable Card Games for several more years, so I ended up throwing away my Jyhad cards in disgust. ...but over the past few years I've kept coming back to Magic, to see the new cards, draft a couple times, Johnny for a while, pick up some commons at the flea market, then give my cards away for whatever reason (a kid wanted baseball cards so he got three power nine cards, I stomped out of Sam's motel room because he was ribbing me for my religion so he got a couple Orzhov theme decks, I got tired of being homeless and carrying around a bunch of cards so Dallas got a Time-Spiral Fat Pack I turned into a Coalition Victory deck with Transguild Courier, Lilith decided to kick me out of her place so I left in a rage and she got a proto fairies vs angels duel set which I'm happy to say she ended up playing, etc etc.). ... I should have an honorary degree in Digression.

I give you...

VAMPIRE: the Gathering:

Vampire Bats Creature - Bat 0 1
Vampiric Link Enchantment - Aura (It's common, it turns any creature deck into a vampiric creature deck, and they're 4 for $1 or less)
Vampiric Tutor Instant (10$ a pop)
Vampirism Enchantment - Aura
Vampire Hounds Creature - Vampire Hound 2 2
Vampiric Touch Sorcery (10 cents)
Vampiric Sliver Creature - Sliver 3 3
Moroii Creature - Vampire 4 4
Crovax the Cursed Legendary Creature - Vampire 0 0
Irini Sengir Legendary Creature - Vampire Dwarf 2 2
Mirri the Cursed Legendary Creature - Vampire Cat 3 2
Vampiric Embrace Enchantment - Aura
Vampiric Spirit Creature - Spirit 4 3
Treacherous Vampire Creature - Vampire 4 4
Arrogant Vampire Creature - Vampire 4 3
Krovikan Vampire Creature - Vampire 3 3
Ravenous Vampire Creature - Vampire 3 3
Repentant Vampire Creature - Vampire 3 3
Sengir Nosferatu Creature - Vampire 4 4
Sengir Vampire Creature - Vampire 4 4
Skyshroud Vampire Creature - Vampire 3 3
Soul Collector Creature - Vampire 3 4
Ascendant Evincar Legendary Creature - Vampire 3 3
Mephidross Vampire Creature - Vampire 3 4
Skeletal Vampire Creature - Vampire Skeleton 3 3
Stalking Bloodsucker Creature - Vampire 4 4
Vein Drinker Creature - Vampire 4 4
Shauku, Endbringer Legendary Creature - Vampire 5 5
Vampiric Feast Sorcery
Blood Tyrant Creature - Vampire 5 5
Garza Zol, Plague Queen Legendary Creature - Vampire 5 5
Szadek, Lord of Secrets Legendary Creature - Vampire 5 5
Vampiric Dragon Creature - Vampire Dragon 5 5
Baron Sengir Legendary Creature - Vampire 5 5

Lifelink cards have vampire-like abilities (do damage, gain that much life), so I included them here:
Nip Gwyllion Creature - Hag 1 1
Genju of the Fields Enchantment - Aura
Mourning Thrull Creature - Thrull 1 1
Mistmeadow Skulk Creature - Kithkin Rogue 1 1
Spirit Loop Enchantment - Aura
Nectar Faerie Creature - Faerie Wizard 1 1
Daybreak Coronet Enchantment - Aura
Knight of Meadowgrain Creature - Kithkin Knight 2 2
Loxodon Warhammer Artifact - Equipment
Steel of the Godhead Enchantment - Aura
Scourge of the Nobilis Enchantment - Aura
Paragon of the Amesha Creature - Human Knight 2 2
Necravolver Creature - Volver 2 2
Rakavolver Creature - Volver 2 2
El-Hajjâj Creature - Human Wizard 1 1 (a Vampire: the Jyhad precursor?)
Windwright Mage Artifact Creature - Human Wizard 2 2
Rhox War Monk Creature - Rhino Monk 3 4
Voracious Hatchling Creature - Elemental 6 6
Doubtless One Creature - Cleric Avatar * *
Essence Sliver Creature - Sliver 3 3
Cliffrunner Behemoth Creature - Rhino Beast 5 3
Brion Stoutarm Legendary Creature - Giant Warrior 4 4
Horned Cheetah Creature - Cat 2 2
Zebra Unicorn Creature - Unicorn 2 2
Changeling Hero Creature - Shapeshifter 4 4
Stir the Pride Instant
Cairn Wanderer Creature - Shapeshifter 4 4
Battlegrace Angel Creature - Angel 4 4
Divinity of Pride Creature - Spirit Avatar 4 4
Kjeldoran Gargoyle Creature - Gargoyle 3 3
Exalted Angel Creature - Angel 4 5
Paladin of Prahv Creature - Human Knight 3 4
Warrior Angel Creature - Angel Warrior 3 4
Windbrisk Raptor Creature - Bird 5 7
Phantom Nishoba Creature - Cat Beast Spirit 0 0
Titanic Ultimatum Sorcery

More on Vampire: the Jyhad / Vampire: the Eternal Struggle (same game, new name), I was going to beta-test the Sabbat expansion in '96, but ended up getting lost at Origins and I couldn't find the group until it was too late to sign up, so I wandered into a random room and guess what was in there... Magic. That's called foreshadowing, I wanted Vampire and ended up with Magic. ...and Richard Garfield, who created both Magic and Vampire: the Jyhad / Eternal Struggle. He was talking about creating a card called Wrath of God and wondering why people would play artifact decks. Apparently the seeds of Affinity were sown among the players before it spread to the designers. I quietly told Richard I wanted to talk to him after the conference and he got the impression it was going to be a very cloak and dagger moment, but I just wanted to chat and get his signiture next to his name on my deckbox for fun. I mentioned how Magic cards could be used as story-telling devices, just connect the cards and there's a story. He asked to see my Magic deck, but all I had was a 6th Edition Starter Pack I had just picked up, though oddly enough, I just so happened to have a preferece for putting all my artifacts on top. That sort of thing happens to me quite a lot. Some call it synchronicty, some call it serendipty. ...some call it magic. ;)

M:TMNT

2009-03-03T05:46:00.000-08:00

The guys at MtGCast wanted a Progenitus Deck, but I got sidetracked and followed a Mutagen theme, so I searched gatherer for "turtle" and immediately rediscovered the perfect card I thought I would never use: Turtleshell Changeling. I thought, "A Turtle CHANGELING?! ...but that means it's ALL CREATURE TYPES and I know MtG has Mutants... and Ninjas! ...but now I know there are TURTLES!!! So yes, Turtleshell Changelling is ipso facto a MUTANT NINJA TURTLE! ZOMG! ^_^ So...

I made a Duel Pack! :)

Heroes! Yay! ^_^

4 Amoeboid Changeling - It's the Mutagen! :-D
4 Turtleshell Changeling - MTG: Mutant Turtle Game!!! RIGHTEOUS!!!
4 Righteousness - Target blocking creature gets +7/+7 until end of turn.
4 Veteran's Armaments - Katana, bo, nunchuka, sai: +1/+1 for each attacking creature; and Ninja Turtles equip instantly! Casey Jones too!
1 Auriok Steelshaper - Casey Jones - Soldier - Equip costs you 1 less [because of the golf bag). As long as Casey Jones is equipped, Soldiers / Turtles you control get +1/+1.
1 Nezumi Shadow-Watcher - Splinter - Sacrifice Splinter: Destroy target ninja! He's only 1/1 because he's old, but he's so bad ass he can even destroy that Ask a Ninja Guy!
1 Lin Sivvi, Defiant Hero - April O'Neil - X+Tap: Search your library for a Rebel/Turtle permanent card with converted mana cost X or less and put that card into play. Then shuffle your library. 3: Put target Rebl/Turtle card from your graveyard on the bottom of your library. - April's always dragging the Turtles into Trouble, but she's good at finding out what bad guys are up to...
4 Peek - Look at target evil player's evil hand. Draw a good card.
1 Visserdrix - Creature - Rabbit Beast 6/6 - Usagi Yojimbo - He costs 6u, that's why he isn't in many cross-overs. :(
1 Walker of Secret Ways - Karai - High echelon leader of the Foot, heroine or villainess? She promises the Foot won't bother the Turtles anymore, but can she be trusted? - 1u:Return target Ninja you control to its owner's hand.
4 Story Circle - As Story Circle comes into play, choose a color. w: The next time a source of your choice of the chosen color would deal damage to you this turn, prevent that damage. - The Turtles ALWAYS win, because they're the GOOD guys! :)
4 Holy Strength - See?! GOOD guys! :D

Lands: 27
6 Island
6 Plains
2 Swamp
4 Flooded Strand
4 Terramorphic Expanse
1 Underground River
1 Dimir Aqueduct
1 Irrigation Ditch
1 Safe Haven
1 Remote Farm

Villains! Booo. :(

4 Amoeboid Changling - The bad guys have Mutagen too! :(
1 Higure, the Still Wind - Shredder - Whenever Shredder deals combat damage to a player, Shredder searches for another Ninja to put in the hands of EVIL. I call dibs on playing the Turtle deck!
1 Experiment Kraj - Krang - Legendary Creature - Ooze Mutant - He's a BIG bad guy, REALLY hard to defeat, but he's really just some slimy brain with tentacles and stuff. Yuck. :p
1 Scandalmonger - Bebop - Creature - Boar Monger 3/3 2:Target player discards a card. Beebop is always trying to stop the Turtles from doing what they want.
1 Rhox - Rocksteady - Creature Rhino Beast - Even if you defeat him, he regenerates again and again! Bad guys are often like that.
1 Karstoderm - Leatherhead
1 Walker of Secret Ways - Karai - I KNEW I couldn't trust her!
4 Ninja of the Deep Hours - Foot Clan - Ninjutsu (1u: Return an unblocked attacker you control to hand: Put this card into play from your hand tapped and attacking.)
4 Shuriken - 2 damage to target creature, they won't kill the Turtles, but they sure are annoying.
4 Brass Man - ROBOT Foot soldiers - 1 - Artifact Creature - Construct - 1/3 Robot Foot soldier doesn't untap during your untap step. At the beginning of your upkeep, you may pay 1. If you do, untap Brass Man. - No wonder they're so easy to kill!
4 Myr Servitor - Mouser Robot - At the beginning of your upkeep, if Mouser Robot is in play, each player returns all cards named Mouser Robot from his or her graveyard to play. - Stupid Robots keep hunting Splinter! They were made by a scientist who mutated and became half FLY! He didn't adjust well.
1 Misshapen Fiend - Baxter Stockman - 1/1 - He's the fly. He can fly. ...but he's a wimp.
4 Warp World 5RRR - They're trying to warp the entire world! But they'll never do it, the Turtles won't let them!
2 Unholy Strength - See?! EVIL!

Lands: 27
10 Island
4 Terramorphic Expanse
4 Llanowar Wastes
2 Forest
2 Swamp
1 Hall of the Bandit Lord
1 School of the Unseen
1 Safe Haven
1 Volrath's Laboratory
1 Mirrodin's Core

Changeling in a turtleshell, Changeling power!

Fairies

2009-03-02T04:44:00.000-08:00

I am not inclined to play fairies, because they're fairies. Fairies are gay. I'm going to play Horsies. :)

Shimewend
Wispmare
Spitemare
Gametrail Changeling

Bitterblossum doesn't stand a chance against my Horsie onslaugt. ^_^

The Worst Magic Cards Ever: Reliquary Tower

2009-02-28T07:17:00.000-08:00

People hate it. Here it is...

Reliquary Tower - Conflux uncommon - Land
You have no maximum hand size.
Tap: Add 1 to your mana pool.

Just about everybody is bashing this card.
...so...
I'll see if it can kick your ass. :)

Since everyone hates Reliquary Tower so much, I have to put 4 of them in this deck. Thus I want to run alot of low cost artifacts in case Reliquary Tower is one or all of my early land drops, because it only gives colorless mana. Let's see what low cost artifacts Wizards has given us the option of using from Conflux...

Mana Cyclix 1 - 1Tap: Add one mana of any color to your pool. Well well, goes very nicely with a land that gives you colorless mana, doesn't it?
Armillary Sphere 2 - Fetch 2 lands for your hand. Look at that, 2 for 2. Isn't that convenient to go with a land which gives you unlimited hand size? [Big hands, I know you're the one.]
Kaleidostone 2 - Draw a card - 5,Tap,Sac Kaleidostone: Add WUBRG to your pool. [Hurkyl's Recall?]
Bonesaw: I have no idea why anyone would use this in Standard. Maybe someday I'll write an IN MY FACE! article.

That's ALOT of mana fixing. I could cast the funkiest color combinations available and have a hand full of lands, until I bring out...

Knight of the Reliquary 1GW - Conflux rare Creature - Human Knight 2/2 Knight of the Reliquary gets +1/+1 for each land card in your graveyard. Tap: Sacrifice a Forest or Plains: Search your library for a land card, put it into play, then shuffle your library.

Play Knight of the Reliquary, sac a land you tapped to play it, thus gaining +1/+1, replace the land with an untapped land, then tap that fresh land for Raven's Crime, Raven's Crime yourself, give your Knight +1/+1 to help it survive til the next turn when you achieve WUBRG Domain (all 5 land types and nasty things start happening.

Retracers:
Raven's Crime B Sorcery
Flame Jab R Sorcery
Glamerdye 1U Instant
Oona's Grace 2U Instant
Syphon Life 1BB Sorcery
Cenn's Enlistment 3W Sorcery
Monstrify 3G Sorcery
Waves of Aggression 3R/wR/w Sorcery
Savage Conception 3GG Sorcery
Worm Harvest 2B/gB/gB/g Sorcery
Spitting Image 4G/uG/u Sorcery
Call the Skybreaker 5U/rU/r Sorcery

WUBRGers:
Child of Alara Legendary Creature - Avatar 6 6
Fusion Elemental Creature - Elemental 8 8
Maelstrom Archangel Creature - Angel 5 5
Horde of Notions Legendary Creature - Elemental 5 5
Reaper King Legendary Artifact Creature - Scarecrow 6 6

Domains:
Might of Alara G Instant +5/+5
Worldly Counsel 1U Instant Sift 5 cards into library, draw one, and say the Magic words, "Ala ala peanut butter Combos!")
Aven Trailblazer 2W Creature - Bird Soldier 2/X where X is your Domain strength. (Does anyone see why this should be my favorite card? I don't.)
Drag Down 2B Instant -5/-5 to target creature
Wandering Goblins 2R Creature - Goblin Warrior 0 3 3Colorless: +5/+0. Repeat. ...Wandering Banefire?
Matca Rioters 2G Creature - Human Warrior X/X where X is your Domain = 5/5. Decent, but not as good as the hype, IMO, except that it is a Warrior, so it made it into my warriors deck, barely.
Manaforce Mace 4 Artifact - Equipment (Equip 4: +5/+5)
Spore Burst 3G Sorcery 5 Saprolings
Exploding Borders 2GR Sorcery Search your library for a basic land card, put that card into play tapped, then shuffle your library. Exploding Borders deals X damage to target player, where X is the number of basic land types among lands you control. = 5 damage and a land.
Voices from the Void 4B Sorcery Target player discards a card for each basic land type among lands you control.

We probably don't have many creatures in play at that point, so Child of Alara might be a good pick to sweep the board:

Child of Alara WUBRG Conflux mythic rare Legendary Creature - Avatar 6/6 Trample. When Child of Alara is put into a graveyard from play, destroy all nonland permanents. They can't be regenerated.

...and you might want to Worldly Counsel (sift) for Prismatic Omen so each of your lands can produce any kind of mana without needing the other mana fixers, thus making WUBRG Domain great for casting all your favorite Shard spells, Lieges, and Spirit Avatars:

Godhead of Awe Creature - Spirit Avatar 4 4
Divinity of Pride Creature - Spirit Avatar 4 4
Ghastlord of Fugue Creature - Spirit Avatar 4 4
Dominus of Fealty Creature - Spirit Avatar 4 4
Demigod of Revenge Creature - Spirit Avatar 5 4
Deity of Scars Creature - Spirit Avatar 7 7
Nobilis of War Creature - Spirit Avatar 3 4
Deus of Calamity Creature - Spirit Avatar 6 6
Oversoul of Dusk Creature - Spirit Avatar 5 5
Overbeing of Myth Creature - Spirit Avatar * *

Last but not least, eh?

Overbeing of Myth G/uG/uG/uG/uG/u (Green/Blue x5) Creature - Spirit Avatar */* Overbeing of Myth's power and toughness are each equal to the number of cards in your hand. At the beginning of your draw step, draw an additional card.

Now aren't you glad the only land in your starting hand was a Reliquary Tower?

IN YOUR FACE! ^_^

...but wait, there's more!

For only 2 more mana, you too can have your choice of Ultimatum!

Brilliant Ultimatum
Cruel Ultimatum
Violent Ultimatum
Titanic Ultimatum
Clarion Ultimatum

...but wait! There's more!

For only 8 mana, you can have your choice of MYTHIC RARE BADASS!

Sphinx Sovereign Artifact Creature - Sphinx 6 6
Prince of Thralls Creature - Demon 7 7
Hellkite Overlord Creature - Dragon 8 8
Godsire Creature - Beast 8 8
Empyrial Archangel Creature - Angel 5 8
Nicol Bolas, Planeswalker Planeswalker - Bolas 5

...but than again, why not go for a Progenitus.

---

4 Reliquary Tower
4 Armillary Sphere
4 Knight of the Reliquary
4 Raven's Crime
4 KICKING YOUR ASS :)

Thomas Scott (Where's my Servant?) Painter

Deck: Obelisk of Dancing

2009-02-28T00:48:00.000-08:00

Stoneybrook Banneret makes half your spells cheaper. Shapersharer can be a Banneret and make things even cheaper. Diviner's Wand equips to most creatures for free and gives you card draw so Skill Borrower, and thus Shapesharer, can become Obelisks of Alara once Obelisk hits the hit the top of the library. Then after you draw Obelisk, "cast" it for 1 with Master Transmuter. If your creatures are destroyed, March of the Machines makes your Obelisk a 6/6, which makes the 6cc worth it even if you can't sneak it in with Master Transmuter, and it still keeps it's abilities. Wings of Velis Vel makes any creature Merfolk, so Merrow Commerce can untap them. So you basically have alot of flying Obelisks.

You could just islandwalk with the banneret a few times, pumping it with pseudo-Obelisks, Wands, and Wings. Lots of options, lots of synergies, lots of mana, lots of card draw, just look for it and it's there, but it might be slow unless you keep your Bannerets out to make Wizards and Changelings cheaper, though you can fetch them with Flute, a great card to sink unused mana into before the beginning of your turn.

Proto Decklist:

4 Stoneybrook Banneret 1U Merfolk Wizard 1/1 Islandwalk Merfolk and Wizards spells cost 1 less t play. (reduce cost of Skill Borrower, Shapesharer, Wings of Velis Vel, Diviner's Wand, and Stoneybrook Banneret)
4 Wings of Velis Vel 1U Tribal Instant Changeling (This card is every creature type at all times.) Target creature becomes 4/4, gains all creature types, and gains flying until end of turn. (save your creatures from burn, turn a chump block into a kill, sneak a wienie in for 4, help Shapesharer morph opponent creatures)
2 Shapesharer (AKA: Obelisk Type C) 1U Changeling(Merfolk Wizard) 1/1 2u:Target Shapeshifter becomes a copy of target creature until your next turn.
2 Skill Borrower 2U Artifact Creature Wizard 1/3 2U: Use artifact/creature abilities of card on top of your library. (AKA: Obelisk Type B. Like a turn 3 Obelisk of Alara. Also Shapesharer, Master Transmuter, Diviner's Wand)
2 Master Transmuter 3U Artifact Creature - Human Artificer 1/2 1Tap Trade artifact in play for one in hand. ("Cast" Obelisk for 1 on turn 4. Or a cheap Skill Borrower. Or bounce to save something being destroyed)
3 Obelisk of Alara 6 Artifact
1w,T: You gain 5 life.
1u,T: Draw a card, then discard a card.
1b,T: Target creature gets -2/-2 until end of turn.
1r,T: Obelisk of Alara deals 3 damage to target player.
1g,T: Target creature gets +4/+4 until end of turn.
(becomes 6/6 with March of the Machines)
2 Citanul Flute 5 Artifact X,Tap: Search your library for a creature card with converted mana cost X or less, reveal it, and put it into your hand. Then shuffle your library. (becomes 5/5 with March of the Machines)
2 Diviner's Wand 3 If you draw a card, wizard gets +1/+1 and flying. Pay 4: Draw a card. If a Wizard comes into play, attach Diviner's Wand for free.
2 March of the Machines (for 6/6 Obelisk of Dancing, 5/5 Citanul Flute, 3/3 Diviner's Wand, 2/2 Armillary Sphere)
2 Merrow Commerce 1U (untap "Obelisks"/SkillBorrowers/Shapesharers/MasterTransmuters)
1 Vedalken Mastermind uu Creature - Vedalken Wizard u,tap: Return target permanent you control to its owner's hand.

Shards of Alara Spoiler: Cards and Comments

2008-09-03T10:41:00.000-07:00

The Windwright Mage is my favorite card so far, mostly for the art (I'm often tempted to make a deck with nothing but hot chicks), it's also in my favorite shard: Esper - blue, white, & black with a focus on artifacts. :)

Shards of Alara Spoiler (and my comments):

Ajani Vengeant 2 Red White
Planeswalker - Ajani
+1: Target permanent doesn't untap during its controller's next untap step.
-2: Ajani Vengeant deals 3 damage to target creature or player and you gain 3 life.
-7: Destroy all lands target player controls.
3
#154/249
[You can use the +1 ability to stall an opponent by tapping enemy lands until you can destroy all their lands completely, but it's a slow card: you have to wait a couple rounds to bring this card into play, so it's not really a card I'd want for my opening hand, and it may take a few turns before it's -7 ability can be used, so it might get removed before you get much use out of it, and a 3 seems too easy to kill. I don't think I'll be happy with this card unless I have a couple of low mana cards to combo with it, maybe some mana accelerators.]

Blightning 1 Black Red
Sorcery
Blightning deals 3 damage to target player. That player discards two cards.
#156/249
[3 damage for 3 mana, that 1 to 1 ratio is standard for Red cards, but it's harder to get a black and a red mana at the same time, so they let you discard a couple of your opponents cards. Not bad, but watch out for cards your opponent would LOVE to discard.]

Bull Cerodon 4 Red White
Creature - Beast
Vigilance, haste
It holds motionless vigil, watching Naya in silence through the screen of the whitecover. When it senses anything amiss, it launches forward with the uncanny sound of torn fog.
5/5
Illus. Jesper Ejsing
#261/249
[Eh, I still don't like high mana cost cards, but it's priced fairly.]

Caldera Hellion 3 Red Red
Creature - Hellion
Devour 1 (As this creature comes into play, sacrifice any number of creatures. Put a +1/+1 counter on this creature for each creature sacrificed this way)
When Caldera Hellion comes into play, it deal 3 damage to each creature.
3/3
Illus. Raymond Swanland
[If you like mono-red, you've got a 3/3 boardsweeper at a decent cost. Try to hit your opponent and sacrifice a few goblin tokens just before damage resolves and you just might have a game-winner. I like the art, even if it is only a big worm, from Hell; it's kinda dragonesque, almost looks like it's spews fire.]

Corpse Connoisseur 4 Black
Creature - Zombie Wizard
When Corpse Connoisseur comes into play, you may search your library for a creature card and put it into your graveyard. If you do, shuffle your library.
Unearth (When you pay the unearth cost, put this creature from your graveyard into play. It gains haste until end of turn. Remove this card from the game at end of turn or if it would leave play. Play this ability only at time you could play a sorcery.)
3/3
Illus. Mark Hyzer
[Nice for Dredge. I'm goth, I love playing in graveyards. ;)]

Courier's Capsule 1 Blue
Artifact
1 Blue, Tap: Sacrifice Courier's Capsule: Draw two cards.
#37/249
[I might play it if I can reanimate it, but it seems kinda expensive. You could theoretically play it on your first turn and activate it on your second, so it's not a horrible thing to get in your opening hand, but you might not have alot mana left over for other spells unless it stays in play unactivated for a turn or two while you're hoping it isn't removed. I'm not too excited about this card. Wizards of the Coast probably wanted to prevent "fast card draw", so they made it more mana-expensive to prevent people from making insane combos and breaking the game. ...but it's card draw, so people will use it.]

Deft Duelist White Blue
Creature - Human Rogue
First strike
Shroud (This creature can't be the target of spells or abilities.)
2/1
Illus. David Palumbo
#165/249
[I don't like it. A 2/1 firststriker is most useful in the early game, but it's 2 mana means it can't come into play until the 2nd round and will need to be hastened or it won't even see combat until the 3rd round, but by the 3rd round your opponent's creatures might be tough enough to not care about 2 damage; I would look for combos to use with this card before considering it for a deck, something to make enemy creatures weaker or something which benefits from you being able to keep a creature in play. A Deft Dualist can clear the board of weenies though, slowly.]

Goblin Assault 2 Red
Enchantment
At the beginning of your upkeep, put a 1/1 red Goblin creature token with haste into play.
Goblin creatures attack each turn if able.
#101/249
[Play this early then bring out your Caldera Hellion. Honestly, I root for elves over goblins, because I like hot chicks, but goblins can be amusing... and deadly.]

Hellkite Overlord 4 Black Red Red Green
Creature - Dragon
Flying, trample, haste
Red: Hellkite Overlord gets +1/+0 until end of turn.
Black Green: Regenerate Hellkite Overlord.
8/8
Illus. Justin Sweet
[I would probably never play this card if I had to pay the mana cost, but Dragonstorm works.]

Jund Battlemage 2 Red
Creature - Human Shaman
Black, Tap: Target player loses 1 life.
Green, Tap: Put a 1/1 green Saproling creature token into play.
2/2
#106/249
[Untap to combo. The mana cost is decent, but you might want to wait for your Black or Green mana to show up before bringing it into play (unless your opponent can discard your hand).]

Kiss of the Amesha 4 White Blue
Sorcery
Target player gains 7 life and draws two cards.
[Eh, it's ok, mostly boring.]

Naya Battlemage 2 Green
Creature - Human Shaman
Red, Tap: Target creature gets +2/+0 until end of turn.
Green, Tap: Tap target creature.
2/2
#142/249
[3 mana for a 2/2 with nice combat tricks to combo with untappers. Looking good, in more ways than one... the art is lovely. :)]

Qasali Ambusher 1 Green White
Creature - Cat Warrior
Reach
If you control a Forest and a Plains and a creature is attacking you, you may play Qasali Ambusher without paying its mana cost and as though it has flash.
2/3
[I hate the cat-people art, but I love free stuff. :D]

Rhox War Monk Green White Blue
Creature - Rhino Monk
Lifelink
3/4
#188/249
[WoTC -> TMNT? WTF? Enough with the Mutagen already.]

Sharding Sphinx 4 Blue Blue
Artifact Creature - Sphinx
Flying
Whenever an artifact creature you control deals combat damage to an opponent, you may put a 1/1 blue Thopter artifact creature token with flying into play.
4/4
[6 mana means I'd expect to win or lose the game before ever being able to cast Sharding Sphinx and a cheap counter would give my opponent mana advantage, but it's ability can give you a quick swarm of thopters, so it might be a game-winner. I don't really care for it very much, I'm paranoid about my big spells being countered.]

Stoic Angel 1 Green White Blue
Creature - Angel
Flying, vigilance
Players can't untap more than one creature during their untap steps.
3/4
#199/249
[I totally love the concept of playing angels, but MtG angels are nothing but violent and boring. MtG angels suck.]

Tezzeret the Seeker 3 Blue Blue
Planeswalker - Tezzeret
+1: Untap up to two target artifacts.
-X: Search your library for an artifact card with converted mana cost X or less and put it into play. Then shuffle your library.
-5: Artifacts you control become 5/5 artifact creatures until end of turn.
4
Illus. Anthony Francisco
#60/249
[I like untapping, I love fetching, and turning artifacts into creatures sounds like a breakable mechanic, so I'm really excited about this card, I just wish it had the art of the Windwright Mage.]

Tower Gargoyle 1 White Blue Black
Artifact Creature - Gargoyle
Flying
4/4
#205/249
[4 mana for a 4/4 Flyer in my favorite colors, nice, but I might need some mana fixers to get it out earlier.]

Windwright Mage White Blue Black
Artifact Creature - Human Wizard
Lifelink
Windwright Mage has flying as long as an artifact card is in your graveyard.
She knows the names and secrets of each of Esper's twenty-three winds.
2/2
Illus. Chippy
#208/249
[3 for a 2/2 lifelinker and she'll probably get her flying, because her shard is heavy on artifacts, and she has a decent mana cost; I'd use her.]

A visual spoiler can be found here:
http://www.wizards.com/magic/tcg/article.aspx?x=mtg/tcg/shardsofalara/spoiler

Achromatic Fetch N' Flash

2008-08-18T11:39:00.000-07:00

They summon creatures of every color,
they do it with colorless mana,
they do it at Instant speed:

Bring a <4 Mana Rebel into play for 4 Colorless Mana.

Changeling Instants are Rebels and Mana Color is irrelevant, so you can play mono-black and have your Blightspeaker fetch any Changeling of less than 4 Mana and bring it into play with an Instant-speed Mana Ability as if the card had Flash.

Rebels:

Children of Korlis Creature - Human Rebel Cleric 1 1
Ramosian Sergeant Creature - Human Rebel 1 1
Samite Censer-Bearer Creature - Human Rebel Cleric 1 1
Brutal Suppression Enchantment
Amrou Scout Creature - Kithkin Rebel Scout 2 1
Blade of the Sixth Pride Creature - Cat Rebel 3 1
Defiant Falcon Creature - Rebel Bird 1 1
Errant Doomsayers Creature - Human Rebel 1 1
Fresh Volunteers Creature - Human Rebel 2 2
Ramosian Lieutenant Creature - Human Rebel 1 2
Sword Dancer Creature - Human Rebel 1 2
Blightspeaker Creature - Human Rebel Cleric 1 1
Rathi Trapper Creature - Human Rebel Rogue 1 2
Knight of the Holy Nimbus Creature - Human Rebel Knight 2 2
Steadfast Guard Creature - Human Rebel 2 2
Whipcorder Creature - Human Soldier Rebel 2 2
Dunerider Outlaw Creature - Human Rebel Rogue 1 1
Amrou Seekers Creature - Kithkin Rebel 2 2
Aven Riftwatcher Creature - Bird Rebel Soldier 2 3
Bound in Silence Tribal Enchantment - Rebel Aura
Defiant Vanguard Creature - Human Rebel 2 2
Lawbringer Creature - Kor Rebel 2 2
Lightbringer Creature - Kor Rebel 2 2
Mercenary Informer Creature - Human Rebel Mercenary 2 1
Nightwind Glider Creature - Human Rebel 2 1
Outrider en-Kor Creature - Kor Rebel Knight 2 2
Saltfield Recluse Creature - Human Rebel Cleric 1 2
Shield Dancer Creature - Human Rebel 1 3
Soul Charmer Creature - Human Rebel 2 2
Task Force Creature - Human Rebel 1 3
Thermal Glider Creature - Human Rebel 2 1
Zealot il-Vec Creature - Human Rebel 1 1
Deepcavern Imp Creature - Imp Rebel 2 2
Rebel Informer Creature - Human Mercenary Rebel 1 2
Lin Sivvi, Defiant Hero Legendary Creature - Human Rebel 1 3
Ramosian Captain Creature - Human Rebel 2 2
Riftmarked Knight Creature - Human Rebel Knight 2 2
Big Game Hunter Creature - Human Rebel Assassin 1 1
Ballista Squad Creature - Human Rebel 2 2
Pious Warrior Creature - Human Rebel Warrior 2 3
Ramosian Revivalist Creature - Human Rebel Cleric 2 2
Trenching Steed Creature - Horse Rebel 2 3
Rebellion of the Flamekin Tribal Enchantment - Elemental
Cho-Manno, Revolutionary Legendary Creature - Human Rebel 2 2
Ramosian Commander Creature - Human Rebel 2 4
Rappelling Scouts Creature - Human Rebel Scout 1 4
Reveille Squad Creature - Human Rebel 3 3
Skyshroud Poacher Creature - Human Rebel 2 2
Jhovall Rider Creature - Human Rebel 3 3
Ramosian Sky Marshal Creature - Human Rebel 3 3

ALSO Rebels:

Shields of Velis Vel - Tribal Instant - Shapeshifter
Mothdust Changeling - Creature - Shapeshifter 1 1
Amoeboid Changeling - Creature - Shapeshifter 1 1
Shapesharer - Creature - Shapeshifter 1 1
Wings of Velis Vel - Tribal Instant - Shapeshifter
Nameless Inversion - Tribal Instant - Shapeshifter
Skeletal Changeling - Creature - Shapeshifter 1 1
Blades of Velis Vel - Tribal Instant - Shapeshifter
Fire-Belly Changeling - Creature - Shapeshifter 1 1
Woodland Changeling - Creature - Shapeshifter 2 2
Avian Changeling - Creature - Shapeshifter 2 2
Crib Swap - Tribal Instant - Shapeshifter
Mirror Entity - Creature - Shapeshifter 1 1
Ego Erasure - Tribal Instant - Shapeshifter
Ghostly Changeling - Creature - Shapeshifter 2 2
Moonglove Changeling - Creature - Shapeshifter 2 2
Taurean Mauler - Creature - Shapeshifter 2 2
Changeling Sentinel - Creature - Shapeshifter 3 2
Mistform Ultimus - Legendary Creature - Illusion 3 3
Turtleshell Changeling - Creature - Shapeshifter 1 4
Changeling Berserker - Creature - Shapeshifter 5 3
War-Spike Changeling - Creature - Shapeshifter 3 3
Chameleon Colossus - Creature - Shapeshifter 4 4
Changeling Hero - Creature - Shapeshifter 4 4
Cairn Wanderer - Creature - Shapeshifter 4 4
Changeling Titan - Creature - Shapeshifter 7 7
Game-Trail Changeling - Creature - Shapeshifter 4 4

Then recast most of them from the Graveyard:

The Worst Magic Cards Ever: Spellshift

2008-08-15T12:46:00.000-07:00

Whenever people say a card sucks,
I tend to get an impulse to break it.

Today we explore...

Alot of people call it a crap rare, but everyone seems to overlook the fact that you might end up getting a look at half your opponent's deck.
...and counter a spell.
...and your opponent loses any good cards on the top of their library.
...and they may be tempted to waste a good spell at a bad time.
...OR...
...you can counter a 1 mana instant of your own and fetch a ten mana instant/sorcery like Eternal Dominion, Soulscour, Decree of Annihilation, Time Stretch, Sway the Stars, Storm Herd, or Curse of the Cabal and cast it FOR FREE.

...but who would want to do anything like that? I mean, it's only a crap rare.

Thanks to the folks at mtgsalvation.com for making this thread easy:
http://forums.mtgsalvation.com/showthread.php?t=64605&page=2

What do you think may be the worst MtG card ever?

Grand Prix Denver

2008-08-14T13:31:00.000-07:00

Results:
1) Gerry Thompson
2) Lee Steht
3) Nathan Elkins
4) Kenneth Castor
5) A.J. Sacher
6) Kyle Bundgaard
7) Antonino de Rosa
8) Hunter Burton

My Timmy was delighted to hear Lee Steht (of mananation.com)won 2nd (w/ Fairies of course). Yea for MtG media! :D

My Johnny was delighted to hear alot of pros yet again had their noggles handed to them by rogue decks. ^_^ ...not Tribe-Rogue decks, just unexpected decks. :)

My Spike scowled at me because I'm too perpetually broke to draft FNM, much less attend a Grand Prix. :? ...but I did start using proxies, he's very pleased with that. ;)

Amoeboid Changeling, Vedalken Aethermage

2008-08-11T07:06:00.000-07:00

*Tap* Your creature is a Changeling.

*Flash* Reminder: Your Changeling is a Sliver.

The last deck I built was a mono-blue Wizard/Changeling deck; Aethermage could fetch nearly any nonland card in my deck and I could play it for one blue mana (Stoneybrook Bannerett), but I could only find 2 Vedalken Aethermages at the flea market and I haven't gotten into the habit of using proxies, so I just canibalized the deck to start making my next one.

I'm surprised I haven't heard more about Changeling combos, especially with Slivers, but maybe I missed it because I just got back into MtG, and because the Time Spiral Slivers are rotating out of Standard in October.

Shards of Alara: Windwright Mage

2008-08-09T12:22:00.000-07:00

The most beautiful Shards of Alara art I've seen so far,
and she just happens to be in my favorite shard,
which consists of my 3 favorite colors. :)

New Combo: 2nd Peter (2:22) and the Big Bad Whatever

2008-08-05T17:09:00.000-07:00

*vomit* *recall* *repeat*
*grr* *regrr* *repeat*

Cthulhu Ftagn!

2008-08-03T12:49:00.000-07:00

Cthulhu Ftagn!

[...and people had a hard time pronouncing Pththisis. ^_^

Muha... Muhaha... MUHAHAHAHA!!

Under construction:

4 Dark Depths
4 Vesuva
4 Yavimaya Coast
7 Forest
7 Island

4 Animate Land g
4 Life (Life/Death) g
4 Lifespark Spellbomb 1 (+g to activate)
4 Balduvian Conjuror 1u
4 Fate Transfer 1b/u
4 Balduvian Frostwalker 2u
3 Crucible of Worlds 3
3 Shapesharer 2u

SideBorat:
Consecrate Land
Skyshroud Ranger

Maybe Spike Tiller, Gaea's Liege, Jorael, Life // Death, , Rude Awakening, etc.

My Johnny wants a Genju of the Realm / Composite Golem combo to go with it.
My Spike says don't be greedy.
My Timmy says, yes, I'll have a Genju of the Realm / Composite Golem combo to go. :)
...and Pththisis. ^_^

Cthulhu Ftagn!

Music for Magic: the Gathering Soundtrack

2008-08-01T11:26:00.001-07:00

Music: the Gathering

Murmaider - Dethklock
(Merfolk Theme)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zgn2K69v-qI

I heard that song and knew I HAD to make a MtG compilation. :)

Rainbow Voice - by David Hykes & The Harmonic Choir
(makes a nice chill intro)
http://music.yahoo.com/track/19267948

Blackened - Metallica
(the lyrics sound like a long list of black cards)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eAvwod7BBK0

Paint it Black - Rolling Stones
(Mono-black)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8MO0iGw-0sY

White and Nerdy - Weird Al Yankovich
(Mono-white)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-xEzGIuY7kw

Blue - Eiffel 65
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H25lz7gchaw

Blue - The Birthday Massacre
(Blue/Black/White if you ask me)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=knapkdtwV58 (Tool/Stuffy-Doll version)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HCcuw4YH3i8 (Final Fantasy version)

Burn - Nine Inch Nails
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xHhRyvWp-9g

Fire Woman - The Cult
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mC2QUV3xJ0I

Fire - Paulina Rubio
(Chandra's Theme)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ts3CUq7QH7s

Fire Starter - Prodigy

Red Red Red - Fiona Apple

Murmaider - Dethklock
(Merfolk Theme)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zgn2K69v-qI

Go Into the Water - Dethklock
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tJZmMgcjaPI

A Forest - The Cure
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HY7wuV_C1oI

Soylent Green - Wumpscut
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KS66F9sKGfk

Sliver - Nirvana
(Maybe in an Un-set)

The Silver Circle - Faith and the Muse
(it's a bit of a stretch, but the title fits)

Black or White - Michael Jackson
(Not exactly Orzhov, but it might not be totally gay. ...maybe.)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZI9OYMRwN1Q

Into White - Cat Stevens
(green pepper walls, water ice, tables of paper wood, blue eyed drummers, black spiders, red legged chickens poised to strike, and everything emptying into white)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GRKKVIkWCMM

Drink Deep - Laura Veirs
http://music.yahoo.com/Laura-Veirs/Drink-Deep/lyrics/40410419#lyricstop
http://music.yahoo.com/track/40410419Sea

Sealion - Feist
http://music.yahoo.com/Feist/Sealion/lyrics/47826790#lyricstop

Magic Carpet Ride - Steppenwolf
("Won't you come with me, little girl, on a magic carpet ride")
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tdnSxVK0WzM&feature=related

Shards of Alara Soundtrack:

Shards - Deep Rising
http://music.yahoo.com/track/13333329

Angel - Wumpscut
Tribal Song: Angel
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bvyFHqauIIc&feature=related

Hellion - Angels on Acid
Tribal Song: Hellion
http://www.myspace.com/angelsonacid666
(It's on their myspace playlist last I checked)

Lion - Rebecca St. James
Shard - Bant
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kOVvu6JyCUs

---

How it started:

After being a beach bum for a while, I decided to get back into Magic: the Gathering, went to a card shop, spent my last $20 on some commons, buying whatever cards I liked for whatever reason, mostly for the art, so I didn't end up with much in the way of a playable deck, but I had fun Johnnying my cards, got a decent overview of the common cards in the present Extended game, and I found I was leaning heavily towards Black/Blue when I went to the local gaming store and bought a booster pack of Shadowmoor and the pack just happened to be heavy on Black/Blue Merfolk. A few days later I was at the Beaches Branch Public Library and downloaded Dethklok to my iPod, because I enjoyed Metalocalypse once or twice, and as I listened to the first two songs I felt like the synchronicities were mounting and I was inspired this start this project.

Murmaider
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zgn2K69v-qI

Go Into the Water
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tJZmMgcjaPI

[If you have a song suggestion, feel free to leave a comment.]

Review of Magic the Gathering Podcasts

2008-08-01T09:55:00.000-07:00

A few podcasts on my iPod (I intend to expand the reviews later):

* MtGCast (mtgcast.com) - a steady source of new high-quality podcasts. If you want a new podcast to listen to every day, this is the place for you.
Shows on MtGCast:
** Monday Night Magic - Tom, Derek, and Gavin. The main spearhead podcast for MTGCast: Tom is the Johnny, Gavin is the Spike, and everyone else involved helped make it quality edutainment.
** Road Warrior Otwell - Christopher E. Otwell
** Planeswalk with the Professors
** The Magic Schoolbus
** The Magic Sock

* The Magic Sock - a long time veteran to magic, great content.

* Magic: the Gathering Podcast - Excellent coverage of Pro Tour, Grand Prix, and World tourneys. This is the podcast where pros get their 5 minutes of fame.

* Mana Nation (mananation.com)- Weekly hi-defintion video podcasts, very professional looking. New players should check out the videos of drafting and play.

* Deck Builders -

* DeckConstruct - Alex and Dan, bringing the magic of London to the world.

* Mana Pool -

My Introduction to Magic: the Gathering

2008-07-29T11:52:00.000-07:00

I was walking through a bookstore at a mall and saw a Magic starter pack. As soon as I saw it I was intrigued. I felt like there was something special about it. At first I wondered if it was a tarot deck, but I took a look and was curious enough that I became determined to get some cards even though I had no idea what it was. I can't remember exactly when and where I got my first starter pack, though I do recall having Strip Mine, Mox Jet, and Time Walk. I might have also had a Black Lotus, because I kinda remember thinking something like, "[Stupid flower, I don't wants flowers and jewelry. I want MAGICK.]". Serves me right, karma rewards thieving little delinquents with pics of stupid flowers, jewelry, and weird skinless guys following Pac-Man food up a hill. I can't say for certain what happened to those cards, I probably gave them away; I do that alot, I get cards and realize I have nobody to play with and then give them away, then get some more in a few years until I give those away.

[fastforward]

I met Richard Garfield and at Origins in 96, I went there because I was an avid roleplayer. I talked to him after a seminar and he asked if I had a deck, but all I could show him was a new 4th Edition starter pack I had just gotten, because at the time I was more interested in Jyhad (eventually renamed Vampire: the Eternal Struggle. I never did get that one last card to complete my set before I went antimaterialistic and threw them all away, including the Sabbat test cards which didn't even have artwork on them yet, but I digress, but I like digressing, so it's ok). Richard signed my Jyhad rules book and I haven't been to a gaming convention since.

To be continnued...

Eventide Visual Spoiler: Every Eventide Card.

2008-07-29T11:22:00.000-07:00

Examine every Eventide card, bigger than life:

I like this one: