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Saturday, February 28, 2009:

 

The Worst Magic Cards Ever: Reliquary Tower


People hate it. Here it is...

Reliquary Tower - Conflux uncommon - Land
You have no maximum hand size.
Tap: Add 1 to your mana pool.




Just about everybody is bashing this card.
...so...
I'll see if it can kick your ass. :)


Since everyone hates Reliquary Tower so much, I have to put 4 of them in this deck. Thus I want to run alot of low cost artifacts in case Reliquary Tower is one or all of my early land drops, because it only gives colorless mana. Let's see what low cost artifacts Wizards has given us the option of using from Conflux...

Mana Cyclix 1 - 1Tap: Add one mana of any color to your pool. Well well, goes very nicely with a land that gives you colorless mana, doesn't it?
Armillary Sphere 2 - Fetch 2 lands for your hand. Look at that, 2 for 2. Isn't that convenient to go with a land which gives you unlimited hand size? [Big hands, I know you're the one.]
Kaleidostone 2 - Draw a card - 5,Tap,Sac Kaleidostone: Add WUBRG to your pool. [Hurkyl's Recall?]
Bonesaw: I have no idea why anyone would use this in Standard. Maybe someday I'll write an IN MY FACE! article.

That's ALOT of mana fixing. I could cast the funkiest color combinations available and have a hand full of lands, until I bring out...

Knight of the Reliquary 1GW - Conflux rare Creature - Human Knight 2/2 Knight of the Reliquary gets +1/+1 for each land card in your graveyard. Tap: Sacrifice a Forest or Plains: Search your library for a land card, put it into play, then shuffle your library.

Play Knight of the Reliquary, sac a land you tapped to play it, thus gaining +1/+1, replace the land with an untapped land, then tap that fresh land for Raven's Crime, Raven's Crime yourself, give your Knight +1/+1 to help it survive til the next turn when you achieve WUBRG Domain (all 5 land types and nasty things start happening.

Retracers:
Raven's Crime B Sorcery
Flame Jab R Sorcery
Glamerdye 1U Instant
Oona's Grace 2U Instant
Syphon Life 1BB Sorcery
Cenn's Enlistment 3W Sorcery
Monstrify 3G Sorcery
Waves of Aggression 3R/wR/w Sorcery
Savage Conception 3GG Sorcery
Worm Harvest 2B/gB/gB/g Sorcery
Spitting Image 4G/uG/u Sorcery
Call the Skybreaker 5U/rU/r Sorcery

WUBRGers:
Child of Alara Legendary Creature - Avatar 6 6
Fusion Elemental Creature - Elemental 8 8
Maelstrom Archangel Creature - Angel 5 5
Horde of Notions Legendary Creature - Elemental 5 5
Reaper King Legendary Artifact Creature - Scarecrow 6 6

Domains:
Might of Alara G Instant +5/+5
Worldly Counsel 1U Instant Sift 5 cards into library, draw one, and say the Magic words, "Ala ala peanut butter Combos!")
Aven Trailblazer 2W Creature - Bird Soldier 2/X where X is your Domain strength. (Does anyone see why this should be my favorite card? I don't.)
Drag Down 2B Instant -5/-5 to target creature
Wandering Goblins 2R Creature - Goblin Warrior 0 3 3Colorless: +5/+0. Repeat. ...Wandering Banefire?
Matca Rioters 2G Creature - Human Warrior X/X where X is your Domain = 5/5. Decent, but not as good as the hype, IMO, except that it is a Warrior, so it made it into my warriors deck, barely.
Manaforce Mace 4 Artifact - Equipment (Equip 4: +5/+5)
Spore Burst 3G Sorcery 5 Saprolings
Exploding Borders 2GR Sorcery Search your library for a basic land card, put that card into play tapped, then shuffle your library. Exploding Borders deals X damage to target player, where X is the number of basic land types among lands you control. = 5 damage and a land.
Voices from the Void 4B Sorcery Target player discards a card for each basic land type among lands you control.

We probably don't have many creatures in play at that point, so Child of Alara might be a good pick to sweep the board:

Child of Alara WUBRG Conflux mythic rare Legendary Creature - Avatar 6/6 Trample. When Child of Alara is put into a graveyard from play, destroy all nonland permanents. They can't be regenerated.

...and you might want to Worldly Counsel (sift) for Prismatic Omen so each of your lands can produce any kind of mana without needing the other mana fixers, thus making WUBRG Domain great for casting all your favorite Shard spells, Lieges, and Spirit Avatars:

Godhead of Awe Creature - Spirit Avatar 4 4
Divinity of Pride Creature - Spirit Avatar 4 4
Ghastlord of Fugue Creature - Spirit Avatar 4 4
Dominus of Fealty Creature - Spirit Avatar 4 4
Demigod of Revenge Creature - Spirit Avatar 5 4
Deity of Scars Creature - Spirit Avatar 7 7
Nobilis of War Creature - Spirit Avatar 3 4
Deus of Calamity Creature - Spirit Avatar 6 6
Oversoul of Dusk Creature - Spirit Avatar 5 5
Overbeing of Myth Creature - Spirit Avatar * *

Last but not least, eh?

Overbeing of Myth G/uG/uG/uG/uG/u (Green/Blue x5) Creature - Spirit Avatar */* Overbeing of Myth's power and toughness are each equal to the number of cards in your hand. At the beginning of your draw step, draw an additional card.

Now aren't you glad the only land in your starting hand was a Reliquary Tower?

IN YOUR FACE! ^_^

...but wait, there's more!

For only 2 more mana, you too can have your choice of Ultimatum!

Brilliant Ultimatum
Cruel Ultimatum
Violent Ultimatum
Titanic Ultimatum
Clarion Ultimatum

...but wait! There's more!

For only 8 mana, you can have your choice of MYTHIC RARE BADASS!

Sphinx Sovereign Artifact Creature - Sphinx 6 6
Prince of Thralls Creature - Demon 7 7
Hellkite Overlord Creature - Dragon 8 8
Godsire Creature - Beast 8 8
Empyrial Archangel Creature - Angel 5 8
Nicol Bolas, Planeswalker Planeswalker - Bolas 5

...but than again, why not go for a Progenitus.

---

4 Reliquary Tower
4 Armillary Sphere
4 Knight of the Reliquary
4 Raven's Crime
4 KICKING YOUR ASS :)


Thomas Scott (Where's my Servant?) Painter

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