A poor man's blog for Magic the Gathering (MtG), Wizards of the Coast (WoTC), deck construction, cards, combos, game play, MtG podcasts, etc.
What is "Magic: the Gathering"? Magic is a collectible fantasy-themed playing card game kinda combining Uno, War, Chess, and art dealing: match colors, draw 4, high card beat low card, different cards attack in different ways while you ogle hot chicks and dragons drawn by your favorite artists on cards you can sometimes sell for big money.
It's Pokimon for grown ups. Srsly, get your Pokimon player a Magic deck and they'll instantly sprout pubes and consider a career as a mathmatician.
Tarshards: Where's my Divining Top when I need it? :)
Marisi Twinclaw: I was expecting multi-hybrids (love'em!), but something about this card doesn't look right to me. Ok, Cat's are White, Double Strike is Red, and 2/4 is Green, but is it THAT Green? It looks we might have to pay middle-color mana if we want their allied color's keywords, instead of getting keywords directly from their colors.
Ether-caste Knight: Yep, Exalted is more Blue than White now.
Aven Mimic: Blue Aggro Wizards?! O_O AWESOME!! ^_^ ...except it's a bird. :-/ I hope they're time to turn it into an Angel Mimic, that would totally rock! Angel Wizards! YES!! ^_^
Now Tarshards makes me wonder if Black is getting sifters, like Catalogue or Commune with Nature. It needs it.
4 Mourning Thrull 1W/B (W/B can be paid with W or B.) Creature - Thrull Common Flying. Lifelink. 1/1
4 Beckon Apparition W/B Instant Common Remove target card in a graveyard from the game. Put a 1/1 W/B Spirit creature token with flying into play.
3 Edge of the Divinity W/B Enchantment - Aura Enchant creature Common As long as enchanted creature is White, it gets +1/+2. As long as enchanted creature is Black, it gets +2/+1.
1 Batwing Brume 1W/B Instant Uncommon Prevent all combat damage that would be dealt this turn if W was spent to play Batwing Brume. Each player loses 1 life for each attacking creature he or she controls if B was spent to play Batwing Brume. (Do both if WB was spent.)
1 Orzhov Guildmage W/B W/B Creature - Human Wizard Uncommon 2W: Target player gains 1 life. 2B: Each player loses 1 life. 2/2
1 Gwyllion Hedge-Mage 2w/b Creature - Hag Wizard Uncommon When Gwyllion Hedge-Mage comes into play, if you control two or more Plains, you may put a 1/1 white Kithkin Soldier creature token into play. When Gwyllion Hedge-Mage comes into play, if you control two or more Swamps, you may put a -1/-1 counter on target creature. 2/2
1 Deathbringer Liege 2 w/b w/b w/b Creature - Horror Rare Other white creatures you control get +1/+1. O ther black creatures you control get +1/+1. Whenever you play a white spell, you may tap target creature. Whenever you play a black spell, you may destroy target creature if it's tapped. 3/4
A WotC cruiseship came in and started unloading cars onto the beach, but they didn't say exactly wha they were doing. Everyone around was really excited and assumed they were giving away cars. I woke up thinking, "Forget the cars, I want to go with them on the ship!"
WotC will be integrating several brands through cross-over products: a set of Magic & Miniatures cards will double as both Magic cards and Miniatures stat cards, some of your favorite Magic cards will have Miniatures (and vice versa). Magic PlayMATs will double as PlayMAPs for Miniatures and roleplaying while D&D will introduce new character classes which bring your Magic deck into the game:
Magic cards will be roleplaying suppliments. Roleplaying suppliments will be Magic cards. You will be able to play D&D by playing Magic.
Magic Pro-Tour events will be immortalized as D&D novels:
"The leaves of the primoridal forest shone like foil, shimmering in the light as a lone elf sprang from the foliage, fighting off a wave of dizziness from being conjured, preparing to unleash the power that would unlock his Planeswalker's scroll to summon reinforcements to his side. He was born to do this, he was...
Imagine a new kind of Magic card. ...that has a Miniature to RP with. Can you imagine it?
This consolidation of product lines will create a more cohesive social structure uniting and solidifying previously seperate consumer bases. Roleplayers, cardplayers, collectors, and readers can much more easily flow from one line of products to another, to whichever they prefer, as each product advertises another: cards have miniatures, miniatures have cards, miniatures are great for role-playing, roleplaying books relate to novels, novels are based on card tournaments, etc.. I also like this idea because...
Magic needs a Succubus tribe: Am I right or am I right?
I love the Pacifism card with Akroma on it, from Mirrodin. We should use that art for Pacifism in the Core Sets from now on, instead of that silly daisy-chain zombie. Don’t get me wrong, I like the zombie, it’s fun, but look what fun did to UnSet sales. I’m telling you, if I had gotten a Mirrodin Pacifism in my first Unlimited Starter Pack I wouldn’t have thrown all my cards away for being nothing but flowers and jewelry. ...and I’d still have that Black Lotus. WotC will focus more on hot chicks and dragons and such and save the G-rated stuff for Pokimon. [Pokimon! :D Pure and wholesome fun for children and parents. Almost but not quite totally unlike hot chicks and dragons.] THE WORLD NEEDS EVIL CHICKS IN BLACK LEATHER. Chain-mail bikinis or bust!
TOGTFO.
...and dragons:
...and Dungeons & Dragons shall now be known as...
Hot Chicks & Dragons.
Ok, maybe I wouldn't say it *exactly* like that, but these are damned good ideas and WotC should make it happen.
Sorrow's Path Land Tap: Exchange two of opponent's blocking creatures. This exchange may not cause an illegal block. Sorrow's Path does 2 damage to you and 2 damage to each creature you control whenever it is tapped.
How about Spitemare and Swans with provoke?
Ok, here's a proto-decklist:
4 Sorrow's Path
4 Boros Signet 1+tap:rw (our mana curve is high) 4 Mogg Maniac 1r Creature - Goblin Whenever Mogg Maniac is dealt damage, it deals that much damage to target opponent. 1/1 (Tap Sorrow's path in response to damage assigned to him and get the most from his death) 3 Swans of Bryn Argol 2 w/u w/u Creature - Bird Spirit Flying If a source would deal damage to Swans of Bryn Argoll, prevent that damage. The source's controller draws cards equal to the damage prevented this way. 4/3 2 Spitemare 2 r/w r/w Creature - Elemental Whenever Spitemare is dealt damage, it deals that much damage to target creature or player. 3/3 2 Stuffy Doll 5 Artifact Creature - Construct As Stuffy Doll comes into play, choose a player. Stuffy Doll is indestructible. Whenever Stuffy Doll is dealt damage, it deals that much damage to the chosen player. Tap: Stuffy Doll deals 1 damage to itself. 0/1 3 Nemesis Mask 3 Artifact - Equipment All creatures able to block equipped creature do so. Equip 3 2 Volcano Hellion 2rr 6/5 Volcano Hellion has echo {X}, where X is your life total. When Volcano Hellion comes into play, it deals an amount of damage of your choice to you and target creature. The damage can't be prevented. 4 Angel's Grace w Instant Split second. You can't lose the game this turn and your opponents can't win the game this turn. Until end of turn, damage that would reduce your life total to less than 1 reduces it to 1 instead. 2 Sustaining Spirit 1w Creature - Angel Spirit Cumulative upkeep (At the beginning of your upkeep, put an age counter on this permanent, then sacrifice it unless you pay its upkeep cost for each age counter on it.) Damage that would reduce your life total to less than 1 reduces it to 1 instead. 3 Pariah 2w (3)Enchantment - Aura - Enchant creature. All damage that would be dealt to you is dealt to enchanted creature instead. 4 Shivan Meteor 3rr (Suspend 2: 1rr) Sorcery Shivan Meteor deals 13 damage to target creature. 2 Awe Strike w Instant The next time target creature would deal damage this turn, prevent that damage. You gain life equal to the damage prevented this way. (turn 2 Hallow w Instant Prevent all damage target spell would deal this turn. You gain life equal to the damage prevented this way. (Shivan Meteor + Hallow = 13 life for 4 mana.)
Sideboard (Alt: side-board & side board. No matter how you spell it, you need it.) [It's not a noun, it's an imperative.] Definition: The last 15 cards in your 75 card deck, required to have fun and win game two.
Casual or Competitive, for money or for fun, you should make a sideboard and I'll tell you why. I'll first start with the Casual reasons to sideboard, because the Competitive reasons are a bit more obvious.
Casual: If you only play for fun, you might think you don't need to sideboard for your Squirrel deck, but here's why you should. Chances are you'll eventually play someone who's getting way too much satisfaction from stomping your Squirrels into the ground and they're not being at all polite about it, that's when you bring in your sideboard and teach them to treat Squirrels with more respect or pay the consequences. ;) A more important reason: sideboards break the monotony, they turn one deck into many decks, you can practically go from mono-blue to mono-red inbetween games, from Mill to Burn in 15 cards or less, so you can tailor your favorite deck to your mood and play whatever you feel like playing without having to make multiple decks. Sideboarding is an economical way to help prevent burnout, it keeps the game interesting.
Casual Sideboarding Idea:
UnSideboard - Just about everybody likes UnSets, but since they aren't tournament legal alot of semi-casual or pro players only buy a couple boosters instead of a whole deck's worth and they never get to see how fun it is to actually PLAY an UnSet; to take avantage of this trend in spending, make a hilarious UnSideboard for your favorite deck. Take your semi-Casual play to the next UnLevel. The Divine vs Demonic duel pack is begging for an Infernal Spawn of Evil. ;) ["It's coming!"]
Competitive: Alot of amatuer players don't make sideboards, that's one reason they're amatuers. If you want to play competitively, the reason to sideboard is simple: No sideboard = No trophy. How many people win Pro Tours without sideboards? Not many. I Googled "won without a sideboard" and got ONE hit, ONE, and it was about playtesting, not the Pro Tour. If you compete you will be surrounded by people who all think they have the best deck and they typically think that for good reasons, so you need cards which efficiently disrupt their decks while helping yours, but there are so many decks out there that the cards you have in your main deck will probably not work well against ALL of them, thus you will have weaknesses against specific decks and weakness does not win trophies. Also, if your deck is any good, serious players will have their friends play decks specifically designed to beat yours in the early rounds and chances are pretty good they will beat you since they are specifially dedicated to exploiting the weaknesses of your deck: your color, your tribe, your mana curve, there are plenty of things to exploit and they WILL be exploited.
I don't know if people already put this together, but I haven't been able to find any lists, so here it is. I've figured out that the Hideaway lands not only have individual creatures associated with them, but they have so many obvious combos that you could practically build decks around the Hideaway themes.
[btw, mana symbols are missing]
Howltooth HOLLOW Land Hideaway (This land comes into play tapped. When it does, look at the top four cards of your library, remove one from the game face down, then put the rest on the bottom of your library.) : Add to your mana pool. , : You may play the removed card without paying its mana cost if each player has no cards in hand.
HOLLOWborn Barghest Creature - Demon Hound At the beginning of your upkeep, if you have no cards in hand, each opponent loses 2 life. At the beginning of each opponent's upkeep, if that player has no cards in hand, he or she loses 2 life. 7 6
Support:
TideHOLLOW Sculler Artifact Creature - Zombie When Tidehollow Sculler comes into play, target opponent reveals his or her hand and you choose a nonland card from it. Remove that card from the game. When Tidehollow Sculler leaves play, return the removed card to its owner's hand. 2 2
Tidehollow Strix Artifact Creature - Bird Flying Deathtouch (Whenever this creature deals damage to a creature, destroy that creature.) 2 1 [I'm not sure about this one, but it is nice. Needs first-strike or toughness though.]
HOLLOWsage Creature - Merfolk Wizard Whenever Hollowsage becomes untapped, you may have target player discard a card. 2 2
Nyxathid 1BB Creature - Elemental As Nyxathid comes into play, choose an opponent. Nyxathid gets -1/-1 for each card in the chosen player's hand. 7 7
Rotting Rats Creature - Zombie Rat When Rotting Rats comes into play, each player discards a card. Unearth
Cunning Lethemancer Creature - Human Wizard At the beginning of your upkeep, each player discards a card. ---------
MOSSwort Bridge Land Hideaway (This land comes into play tapped. When it does, look at the top four cards of your library, remove one from the game face down, then put the rest on the bottom of your library.) : Add to your mana pool. , : You may play the removed card without paying its mana cost if creatures you control have total power 10 or greater.
MOSSbridge Troll Creature - Troll If Mossbridge Troll would be destroyed, regenerate it. Tap any number of untapped creatures you control other than Mossbridge Troll with total power 10 or greater: Mossbridge Troll gets +20/+20 until end of turn. 5 5
Support:
MOSStodon Creature - Plant Elephant : Target creature with power 5 or greater gains trample until end of turn. 5 3
As a pauper, I am so glad Rite of Consumption is a common.
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Blue was a bit harder to piece together.
Shelldock Isle Land Hideaway (This land comes into play tapped. When it does, look at the top four cards of your library, remove one from the game face down, then put the rest on the bottom of your library.) : Add to your mana pool. , : You may play the removed card without paying its mana cost if a library has twenty or fewer cards in it.
Isleback Spawn Creature - Kraken Shroud Isleback Spawn gets +4/+8 as long as a library has twenty or fewer cards in it. 4 8
I couldn't find anything else with isle or spawn or shell in the name which seemed relevant, so I just started to list all the millers until I found something interesting.
Memory Sluice Cathartic Adept Drowner Initiate Merrow Witsniper Ink Dissolver Research the Deep Grimoire Thief Drowner of Secrets Ambassador Laquatus
Jace Beleren Planeswalker - Jace [+2]: Each player draws a card. [-1]: Target player draws a card. [-10]: Target player puts the top twenty cards of his or her library into his or her graveyard. 3
BING!
Although there are plenty of nice millers which can probably get the job done just as fast.
I'll probably revist this combo later, because I sense something big lurking beneath the surface. Maybe MANY big things lurking ALL OVER. ;)
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Here's an interesting one. :)
Spinerock KNOLL Land Hideaway (This land comes into play tapped. When it does, look at the top four cards of your library, remove one from the game face down, then put the rest on the bottom of your library.) : Add to your mana pool. , : You may play the removed card without paying its mana cost if an opponent was dealt 7 or more damage this turn.
KNOLLspine Dragon 5RR [7] Creature - Dragon Flying When Knollspine Dragon comes into play, you may discard your hand and draw cards equal to the damage dealt to target opponent this turn. 7 5
Support:
KNOLLspine Invocation 1rr Enchantment , Discard a card with converted mana cost X [7!]: Knollspine Invocation deals X[7!] damage to target creature or player.
Arbiter of KNOLLridge 6W [7] Creature - Giant Wizard Vigilance When Arbiter of Knollridge comes into play, each player's life total becomes the highest life total among all players. 5 5
All those were found when I looked for "Knoll". I thought I'd look for spells which did seven damage, so I looked for all the cards in Standard which had the word seven in them and how many were there? Seven! Starting with...
Stomping Slabs 2r Sorcery Reveal the top seven cards of your library, then put those cards on the bottom of your library in any order. If a card named Stomping Slabs was revealed this way, Stomping Slabs deals 7 damage to target creature or player.
...and ending with...
Nicol Bolas, Planeswalker Planeswalker - Bolas +3: Destroy target noncreature permanent. -2: Gain control of target creature. -9: Nicol Bolas, Planeswalker deals 7 damage to target player. That player discards seven cards, then sacrifices seven permanents.
Malkovich Malkovich Malkovich. MALKOVICH!
I decided to look for other 7 Power creatures which cost 7 Mana, to use with Knollspine Invocation: Loamdragger Giant, Dusdale Wurm, and...
Hollowborn Barghest Creature - Demon Hound At the beginning of your upkeep, if you have no cards in hand, each opponent loses 2 life. At the beginning of each opponent's upkeep, if that player has no cards in hand, he or she loses 2 life. 7 6 [Works well with Knollspine Invocation's discard. Maybe a Hollow/Knoll deck could work.]
How about just 7 power?
Nyxathid 1BB Creature - Elemental As Nyxathid comes into play, choose an opponent. Nyxathid gets -1/-1 for each card in the chosen player's hand. 7 7
How convenient. :) Add Raven's Crime and Flame Jab for cheap discard to trigger HowlTooth Hollow. Knollspine Invocation, Hollowborn Barghest, Nyxathid(+Rite of Consumption/Soul's Fire?), Stomping Slabs, and Flame Jab, trigger Spinerock Knoll as well as do massive amounts of damage.
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Windbrisk Heights Land Hideaway (This land comes into play tapped. When it does, look at the top four cards of your library, remove one from the game face down, then put the rest on the bottom of your library.) : Add to your mana pool. , : You may play the removed card without paying its mana cost if you attacked with three or more creatures this turn.
Windbrisk Raptor Creature - Bird Flying Attacking creatures you control have lifelink. 5 7
That's the only one that was *obviously* linked, but there are plenty of ways to make lots of creatures to Lifelink:
Militia's Pride Tribal Enchantment - Kithkin Whenever a nontoken creature you control attacks, you may pay . If you do, put a 1/1 white Kithkin Soldier creature token into play tapped and attacking.
Patrol Signaler Creature - Kithkin Soldier , : Put a 1/1 white Kithkin Soldier creature token into play. ( is the untap symbol.) 1 1
Martial Coup Sorcery Put X 1/1 white Soldier creature tokens into play. If X is 5 or more, destroy all other creatures.
Spectral Procession Sorcery ( can be paid with any two mana or with . This card's converted mana cost is 6.) Put three 1/1 white Spirit creature tokens with flying into play.
Mobilization Enchantment Soldier creatures have vigilance. (Attacking doesn't cause them to tap.) : Put a 1/1 white Soldier creature token into play.
Kinsbaile Borderguard Creature - Kithkin Soldier Kinsbaile Borderguard comes into play with a +1/+1 counter on it for each other Kithkin you control. When Kinsbaile Borderguard is put into a graveyard from play, put a 1/1 white Kithkin Soldier creature token into play for each counter on it. 1 1
Cenn's Enlistment Sorcery Put two 1/1 white Kithkin Soldier creature tokens into play. Retrace (You may play this card from your graveyard by discarding a land card in addition to paying its other costs.)
Springjack Shepherd Creature - Kithkin Wizard Chroma - When Springjack Shepherd comes into play, put a 0/1 white Goat creature token into play for each white mana symbol in the mana costs of permanents you control. 1 2
Summon the School Tribal Sorcery - Merfolk Put two 1/1 blue Merfolk Wizard creature tokens into play. Tap four untapped Merfolk you control: Return Summon the School from your graveyard to your hand.
Ajani Goldmane Planeswalker - Ajani [+1]: You gain 2 life. [-1]: Put a +1/+1 counter on each creature you control. Those creatures gain vigilance until end of turn. [-6]: Put a white Avatar creature token into play with "This creature's power and toughness are each equal to your life total." 4
Elspeth, Knight-Errant Planeswalker - Elspeth +1: Put a 1/1 white Soldier creature token into play. +1: Target creature gets +3/+3 and gains flying until end of turn. -8: For the rest of the game, artifacts, creatures, enchantments, and lands you control are indestructible. 4
Knight-Captain of Eos Creature - Human Knight When Knight-Captain of Eos comes into play, put two 1/1 white Soldier creature tokens into play. , Sacrifice a Soldier: Prevent all combat damage that would be dealt this turn. 2 2
Cloudgoat Ranger Creature - Giant Warrior When Cloudgoat Ranger comes into play, put three 1/1 white Kithkin Soldier creature tokens into play. Tap three untapped Kithkin you control: Cloudgoat Ranger gets +2/+0 and gains flying until end of turn. 3 3
Sigil of the Empty Throne Enchantment Whenever you play an enchantment spell, put a 4/4 white Angel creature token with flying into play.
Mirror-Sigil Sergeant Creature - Rhino Soldier Trample At the beginning of your upkeep, if you control a blue permanent, you may put a token into play that's a copy of Mirror-Sigil Sergeant. 4 4
You could use all Mountains, but at first glace the closest you could get to Mono-Red Elves is Red Green Elves, or Red Green White:
Radha, Heir to Keld rg Yavimaya Barbarian rg Knotvine Mystic rgw Mayael the Anima rgw Marhault Elsdragon 3rrg
Radha, Heir to Keld rg Legendary Creature - Elf Warrior Whenever Radha, Heir to Keld attacks, you may add rr to your mana pool. Tap: Add g to your mana pool. (planar chaos)
Yavimaya Barbarian rg Creature - Elf Barbarian Protection from blue 2 2 (invasion)
Knotvine Mystic rgw Creature - Elf Druid , tap: Add rgw to your mana pool. 2 2 (conflux)
Mayael the Anima rgw Legendary Creature - Elf Shaman , 3rgw: Look at the top five cards of your library. You may put a creature card with power 5 or greater from among them into play. Put the rest on the bottom of your library in any order. 2 3 (alara)
Marhault Elsdragon 3rrg Legendary Creature - Elf Warrior Rampage 1 (Whenever this creature becomes blocked, it gets +1/+1 until end of turn for each creature blocking it beyond the first.) 4 6
You could paint them red after they're in play with spells like Crimson Wisps.
You could paint them Red before they're in play with Painter's Servant, but that would make them Multicolored-Red.
Other than that, you'll have to go to the only Mono-Red Elves there are:
Fire-belly Changeling 1r Blades of Velis Vel 1r Taurean Mauler 2r Changeling Berserker 3r Warspike Changeling 3r
You can use Mono-Red "Elves" with spells like Shared Animosity (2r) and Door of Destinies (4), naming Elves, but you could just as easily name it Mono-Red Zombie Squirrels.
Door of Destinies 4 Artifact As Door of Destinies comes into play, choose a creature type. Whenever you play a Zombie Squirrel spell, put a charge counter on Door of Destinies. Zombie Squirrels you control get +1/+1 for each charge counter on Door of Destinies.
Note you only have to "play" the spell, not have have it resolve, so this would be nice against control decks and you may also consider bouncing and recursion, like Fossil Find r/g.
Viola! Mono-Red Elves. :)
Elves, Squirrels, what's the diference? ^_^
But if you stray from your colors just a tad, look what you can get!
Lord of the Undead Squirrels 1bb Creature - Zombie Other Zombie Squirrel creatures get +1/+1. 1b,Tap: Return target Zombie Squrriel card from your graveyard to your hand. 2/2
...endless recursion of Nameless Inversion?
SQUIRREL POWER! ^_^
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Blades of Velis Vel 1r Tribal Instant - Shapeshifter Changeling (This card is every creature type at all times.) Up to two target creatures each get +2/+0 and gain all creature types until end of turn.
Fire-Belly Changeling 1r Creature - Shapeshifter Changeling (This card is every creature type at all times.) r: Fire-Belly Changeling gets +1/+0 until end of turn. Play this ability no more than twice each turn. 1 1
Mutavault Land tap: Add 1 to your mana pool. 1: Mutavault becomes a 2/2 creature with all creature types until end of turn. It's still a land.
Taurean Mauler 2r Creature - Shapeshifter Changeling (This card is every creature type at all times.) Whenever an opponent plays a spell, you may put a +1/+1 counter on Taurean Mauler.
Changeling Berserker 3r Creature - Shapeshifter Changeling (This card is every creature type at all times.) Haste Champion a creature (When this comes into play, sacrifice it unless you remove another creature you control from the game. When this leaves play, that card returns to play.) 5 3
War-Spike Changeling 3r Creature - Shapeshifter Changeling (This card is every creature type at all times.) r: War-Spike Changeling gains first strike until end of turn.
Door of Destinies 4 Artifact As Door of Destinies comes into play, choose a creature type. Whenever you play a spell of the chosen type [Elf], put a charge counter on Door of Destinies. Creatures you control of the chosen type get +1/+1 for each charge counter on Door of Destinies.
Shared Animosity 2r Enchantment Whenever a creature you control attacks, it gets +1/+0 until end of turn for each other attacking creature that shares a creature type with it.
Ron Vitale of the Magic Sock recommended people sell their Magic on eBay instead of selling to venders, because venders usually buy for too little and sell for too much. So Star City Games blackballed Ron's podcast.
I very much agree with Ron. People in the business of trading cards are business people, which means they try to make a profit, which means they try to make sure somebody somewhere is not getting their money's worth. Who will not get their money's worth? YOU. Beckett says a card is worth X, but *I* have NEVER gotten X from a business person, not for Magic cards, not for baseball cards, not for comic books, NOTHING (probably because I've never been on ebay). I once went to my local shop for "FNM" (though I don't think was sanctioned, at least I hope it wasn't) and I thought I could sell my $20 Graven Cairns and be able to enter a $15 draft, I think I got five for it, I got $3 for my Figure of Destiny, and the guy had the nerve to say he was paying top dollar. I knew he was ripping me off and I tried to look at the bright side. I'd get to play in the draft and my rares were going to someone who might be able to afford to play them in a PTQ, but it made me really sad to see that guy was totally ok with being evil and even bragged about the deal he got. Guess what, he was the judge of the draft. ...and he played in it. He ended the draft early and the top 2 players split the prizes, he was one of them. The merchant who ran the store we played in didn't seem much better than the judge, selling booster boxes for $100 when they were eighty online. Obviously, I haven't been back to my local shop since.
Star City Games retaliating against Ron Vitale for telling people how to get their money's worth only shows us what profiteering jerks they are at Star City Games. I'm glad I can't afford to buy from them. I'd rather go to that nice white-haired lady at the flea market who even gives me a ride home at the end of the day. :)
The guys at the Monday Night Magic podcast liked my Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle Duel Decks so much they've awarded me the foil Unhinged land made internationally famous in Episode 145. :)
I found a twenty on the ground on Saturday morning, so I went straight to the flea market and bought an 8th Edition intro pack which comes with an MTGO disk, specifically so I could start playing MTGO. I would just pay the $9.99 with a credit card and actually get some cards worth having (because I didn't even get a Llanowar Elf with the Core Set), but I've never had a credit card and when I tried to get a Visa Gift Card I found out gift cards didn't come in denominations I could afford. Pro-Tour types have it easy, playing pauper is hard. :/
Anyay, after dreaming of the day for months, I FINALLY have MTGO (almost) and after 15 years of exposure to MtG I might actually be able to start PLAYING Magic rather than simply looking at a binder of a few hundred commons and struggling to build a deck worth having [I just got my playset of Virulent Slivers! :D]. When I play it will be my 12th game or so in 15 years. ...BUT... I have to install MTGO on this library computer before I get booted off and if another library patron is waiting for a computer I could be kicked off at any time over 30 minutes, and MTGO is only 96% downloaded and it's been downloading for the past HOUR AND A HALF!
!?!&$!-$+!?!
Update: 2 hours 5 minutes: 97% complete. ...but I'm on a Cable connection! Am I downloading high resolution scans of every card known to man?! How many "frames" does this thing HAVE? I could have downloaded my 30 Gig iPod by now. Oh, I know what's happening, God's waiting for me to complete the download so he can boot me off the computer. Just wait. Am I going to have to do this EVERY time I want to play MTGO?? Wait, this isn't even going to be MTGO III is it? ...
Next Day: Ok, I downloaded MTGO III in half an hour and stored it in on my iPod so I won't have to keep downloading it from wizards.com. It probably took a long time yesterday due to so many people being at the library eating up bandwidth. I hopped back online and installed MTGO III, then it said there was a NEW version available! ...but I *JUST* DOWNLOADED IT! Ok, download. Now, by this time, the library is full, so bandwidth is scarce and after a couple minutes it's only downloaded 40 files with 3,066 to go. I bought MTGO yesterday, but haven't even been able to make an account.
An hour later: Downloading 1400 of 3066. If I leave this computer for 5 minutes it will shut down, so I'm stuck in this chair. My ass hurts. I need a cigarette. Oh look, I'm being booted off the computer.
Well, at least the 8th Edition Intro Pack has a "Learn to Play Magic" program where I can play against a computer. I'll at least be able to play with Grizzly Burrs and Giant Octopi. Octopi, a bit too 10,000 Leagues Under the Sea for a traditional fantasy setting, but oh well, it's better than bears.
Day 3 Installed MTGO III, again, the update completed, again, then it said the New Account Server was down for repairs. *sigh*
Day 4 Let's see what happens today and what's up with the New Account Server and wot not. *waiting* MTGO III is stuck checking file versions (87%) even though it says the Update is complete and it gives me the option of Launching MTGO III. What do I do? Oh well, here goes... *Launch* OMG, it worked! :D Now I have to choose a screen name. Ok, done, but wait, it's telling me I have to buy an account to activate it... but I already got an activation code with my Core Set! I can't use my activation code until I buy ANOTHER activation code for $9.99?!
Hurdle after roadblock, it's like digging a hole to China; it looks like I'm making progress slowly, but surely, but all I'm really doing is digging my grave.
Days 5, 6, 7, and 8 I made a few attempts to get some help from WotC, to see if they're going to honor their product. Nobody from WotC has been of ANY help. I figure I've been screwed out of $16, but what do they care, it's only sixteen bucks, only all the money I had to my name. Anyway, I lucked out on Day 9 and found $36 probably dropped by some Irishman celebrating Saint Alcoholics Day, so I got a $25 American Express Gift Card and walked a mile and a half to the library only to find out the library was closed and I had to walk a mile and half right back. Tired, frustrated, hungry, and sleepy, I then realized it wouldn't have done any good anyway, because the Gift Card wasn't associated with an address, so I then went through heck of a time trying to register it with my contact information. I tried to call AmEx to sort it out, but the phone I was using ended up not working, so I got to another phone. People have been talking about class action lawsuits against Amex because the gift cards are usually regected by merchants unless people somehow figure out who to call and what options on the messaging system eventually lead to the hidden "talk the customer service rep in India" option (He was Indian, I could tell). The process was frustrating (Me? Frustrated? Go figure.), but I did eventually get the card associated with the address of my local homeless mission. Now I need access to a computer, so the wait for the library continues.
DAY 10 So, now here I am at a different library which has a better reputation of not booting people off the computer after only 30 minutes, thus in theory giving me time to reinstall MTGO 3, reupdate it, then make an account with the Gift Card, but the computer seems to be going much slower than the computers at the other library, much slower, much much slower. ...and now I'm getting booted off. IT'S THURSDAY MORNING! WHY ARE THERE SO MANY PEOPLE AT THE LIBRARY ON A THURSDAY MORNING?! ...because it frustrates me, that's why.
Ok, so I hopped on a different computer hoping it was faster, and of course it isn't. A rough guestimate says I'll have to be on this computer for several hours before it's MTGO III is updated. I guess I wasted a third of my life's saving on bus fare today. (Me? Wasting money? Go figure).
I'm trying really hard not to blame WotC for all of this frustration, because they have this really cool game I've been wanting to play for 15 years.
Check this out, I figured I'd be here for a while so I decided to give the Wizards Community Forum another try, to see yet again if there's anyone I can talk to and get my Core Set Activation Code problem sorted out, but THE FORUMS ARE DOWN! It's so unbelievably coincidental, I have no problem believing it's not a coincidence: it's magic, pauper magic. I'm mystical and magical and can amaze you with my astounding ability to not accomplish the simplest of feats.
Two hours later: Hey, wow! I didn't get booted off this time! This time MTGO "Timed Out" and quit of it's own accord. This, like most things, does not please me. I need a break, I'm going to go give myself cancer. Ok nice, what timing, I'm being booted off the computer.
DAY 11 I went back to the first library early and was first on the computers, so I had all the bandwidth to myself to install then speedily download MTGO (shouldn't downloading come BEFORE installing?), but of course I got booted off the computer before it finished updating and there weren't even any library patrons in line for that computer. I'm never going to be able to even sign up for an account, much less play the damned game. I guess the only way I can play MTGO is if I give up my anti-social disorders, sell my soul into slavery for the almighty dollar, sub for some money-worshipping monkey, and do whatever bit of pointless vanity the other monkeys are trading their scraps of paper for, then I can afford to be ripped off by computer-dealing monkeys and not have to use the library, but that sounds like alot of work and I have for some time now had very little motivation to live, much less do things I don't care about (ie. everything) for people who don't care about me (ie everybody).
I am so stressed out. I need something to get my mind off my mind. You know what I like to think about when I get like this? Magic. :)
God I wish I had MTGO. :(
Maybe this time I'll get lucky...
DAY 15 By some miracle I got MTGO III updated and the new account servers were up, so I tried to use the screen name I tried to use before, but it's taken, except I can't sign into it. So I try to make a new screen name, but when I click to see if it's available, nothing happens. So I restart the program, choose a new screen name, make my order, fill out my American Express Gift Card info, and it wouldn't authenticate it. Then it told me to restart MTGO III and do it again. ... So I do it again, but when I click to register a username, nothing happens. So I restart again.
I got sidetracked helping The Magic Sock and MTGCast with their webmastering, now I'm getting booted off the computer.
Somehow my MTGO III file just got erased. Now I have to download MTGOIII_helper.exe from wizards.com onto my iPod again. It says my iPod isn't connected, so I ignore it and immediately try again and it works. I have 30 minutes before the library closes.
Download 4.2% Complete 3h 2m left
*sigh*
HEY, WOW! Someone told me how to activate my account using the 8th Edition Codes! ...and the library is closing. :/
DAY 16 Interesting how I first looked to the help section at wizards.com on day 4 or 5 and I couldn't find this help page which a forum volunteer directed me to, interesting also how when I also previously tried to email customer service as this page says I must do, it wouldn't let me, but now it works. I have to wait up to 2 days for a response. I also still have to download MTGO III Helper again or I won't be able to install and update MTGO III again and of course people have been bouncing me off the computer and eating up bandwidth, so that's taken me 5 hours already. Starting at 2hrs, I only have "8m left" until my download is complete. Watch me get booted before it's done. ... I knew it. Another day wasted.
DAY 17 I got email from Wizards saying "Your account is now active and available to play. The Core game cards will be added to your account as soon as possible. Please let me know if you need anymore help!". So I logged into my Customer Help Account to reemphasize my overlooked question about how I my American Express Gift Card wasn't authenticated even though I went through a heck of a time getting it registered and associated to an address like I was told I had to do, but when I tried to update the question, it wouldn't let me. I just finished downloding MTGO III Helper and ran MTGO III, but when it was finished it said I was running an old version. I JUST DOWNLOADED IT. So now I'm downloading 17,649 MORE files. ...and I'm getting booted off the computer.
DAY 18
Downloading. Timed out. Let's try this again. ... Let's time out again. PFT! Forget it, I'm too frustrated. I'll just content myself with some MTGCast instead.
DAY 19
Yay, progress. :/ I sat here for 2 hours and stared at the Lorwyn chicks midriff, because the troubleshooting guide says no other programs should be running when MTGO downloads. It worked. Well... it downloaded. Then it gave me the option to "Launch", so I clicked it. ...and it closed. ...and nothing else happened. Yeah...
3! 2! 1! We are go for launch! ... No? Now? How about now? Launch? Hello? Oh, Hell. ... Launch! ... NOW!
Damn you WotC,
You should have told us we were Beta Testing MTGO! I advise you to immediately pull all advertising for Magic Online, avoid mentioning MTGO as much as you can without making current players TOO suspicious. When you finally have a viable product (ie. when the Help file is NOT as big as the actual program itself!), declare the Beta Testing complete and invite people to play the actual game. When people say, "We were still Beta Testing?!", point to an old memo sent to Public Relations and point out the where the typo was.
DAY 20
I click MTGO_NET.exe and nothing happens. I click newkicker.exe, the program starts, I click "Launch", it closes and nothing happens. I click "Repair", it starts, goes through the intial "downloading files" routine, then it stops and says "FileCopyStart -- Object reference not set to an instance of an object." I tried to repair the problem, but the repair has a problem.
So I reinstall. I launch. I see a bunch of angry guys in animal helmets busting stuff up. MTGO breaks. I'd love to tell you what kind of error it is, but I could't cut and paste the error message, all I could do was say "ok" and the it all closes, it was something about "value null". Yeah, my thoughts exactly. MTGO: value null.
Good news though, I'm told I have an account with some 8th Edition Core Set cards. Too bad I CAN'T EVEN LOG ON!
So I unintstall, so I can REinstall, expecting it to leave only the intial installation program, but not only does it erase that too, it toatlly erases EVERYTHING in the whole file, even my other programs which had nothing to do with MTGO III! So I have to download the installer again?! AGAIN?! AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN!! I'M SO SICK OF DOING ALL THIS CRAP OVER AND OVER AND GETTING NOWHERE!!
MONTH 2 In the past month, I've managed to play 2 MTGO games, both on the free server, not on my account, but that was a couple weeks ago, I've not been able to do it since, and I've never even been able to sign in to my account, which I'm told I have. I redownloaded, reinstalled, reupdated, and rerepaired, but I can't get MTGO to Launch again. "Magic: the Customer Service" has been interesting, almost productive, they fixed a problem and now I can update my Help questions after their advice doesn't help.
I got my first Starter Pack of Magic: the Gathering during Unlimited, but it was all flowers and jewelry, so I threw it away and got a full set of Vampire: the Jyhad (later known as Vampire: the Eternal Struggle), because Vampires are frickin cool and flowers are only so-so even if they're black. My friends roleplayed Vampire: the Maquerade and I thought I was much more likely to play Jyhad than Magic. Turns out none of my friends got into Collectable Card Games for several more years, so I ended up throwing away my Jyhad cards in disgust. ...but over the past few years I've kept coming back to Magic, to see the new cards, draft a couple times, Johnny for a while, pick up some commons at the flea market, then give my cards away for whatever reason (a kid wanted baseball cards so he got three power nine cards, I stomped out of Sam's motel room because he was ribbing me for my religion so he got a couple Orzhov theme decks, I got tired of being homeless and carrying around a bunch of cards so Dallas got a Time-Spiral Fat Pack I turned into a Coalition Victory deck with Transguild Courier, Lilith decided to kick me out of her place so I left in a rage and she got a proto fairies vs angels duel set which I'm happy to say she ended up playing, etc etc.). ... I should have an honorary degree in Digression.
Lifelink cards have vampire-like abilities (do damage, gain that much life), so I included them here: Nip Gwyllion Creature - Hag 1 1 Genju of the Fields Enchantment - Aura Mourning Thrull Creature - Thrull 1 1 Mistmeadow Skulk Creature - Kithkin Rogue 1 1 Spirit Loop Enchantment - Aura Nectar Faerie Creature - Faerie Wizard 1 1 Daybreak Coronet Enchantment - Aura Knight of Meadowgrain Creature - Kithkin Knight 2 2 Loxodon Warhammer Artifact - Equipment Steel of the Godhead Enchantment - Aura Scourge of the Nobilis Enchantment - Aura Paragon of the Amesha Creature - Human Knight 2 2 Necravolver Creature - Volver 2 2 Rakavolver Creature - Volver 2 2 El-Hajjâj Creature - Human Wizard 1 1 (a Vampire: the Jyhad precursor?) Windwright Mage Artifact Creature - Human Wizard 2 2 Rhox War Monk Creature - Rhino Monk 3 4 Voracious Hatchling Creature - Elemental 6 6 Doubtless One Creature - Cleric Avatar * * Essence Sliver Creature - Sliver 3 3 Cliffrunner Behemoth Creature - Rhino Beast 5 3 Brion Stoutarm Legendary Creature - Giant Warrior 4 4 Horned Cheetah Creature - Cat 2 2 Zebra Unicorn Creature - Unicorn 2 2 Changeling Hero Creature - Shapeshifter 4 4 Stir the Pride Instant Cairn Wanderer Creature - Shapeshifter 4 4 Battlegrace Angel Creature - Angel 4 4 Divinity of Pride Creature - Spirit Avatar 4 4 Kjeldoran Gargoyle Creature - Gargoyle 3 3 Exalted Angel Creature - Angel 4 5 Paladin of Prahv Creature - Human Knight 3 4 Warrior Angel Creature - Angel Warrior 3 4 Windbrisk Raptor Creature - Bird 5 7 Phantom Nishoba Creature - Cat Beast Spirit 0 0 Titanic Ultimatum Sorcery
More on Vampire: the Jyhad / Vampire: the Eternal Struggle (same game, new name), I was going to beta-test the Sabbat expansion in '96, but ended up getting lost at Origins and I couldn't find the group until it was too late to sign up, so I wandered into a random room and guess what was in there... Magic. That's called foreshadowing, I wanted Vampire and ended up with Magic. ...and Richard Garfield, who created both Magic and Vampire: the Jyhad / Eternal Struggle. He was talking about creating a card called Wrath of God and wondering why people would play artifact decks. Apparently the seeds of Affinity were sown among the players before it spread to the designers. I quietly told Richard I wanted to talk to him after the conference and he got the impression it was going to be a very cloak and dagger moment, but I just wanted to chat and get his signiture next to his name on my deckbox for fun. I mentioned how Magic cards could be used as story-telling devices, just connect the cards and there's a story. He asked to see my Magic deck, but all I had was a 6th Edition Starter Pack I had just picked up, though oddly enough, I just so happened to have a preferece for putting all my artifacts on top. That sort of thing happens to me quite a lot. Some call it synchronicty, some call it serendipty. ...some call it magic. ;)
The guys at MtGCast wanted a Progenitus Deck, but I got sidetracked and followed a Mutagen theme, so I searched gatherer for "turtle" and immediately rediscovered the perfect card I thought I would never use: Turtleshell Changeling. I thought, "A Turtle CHANGELING?! ...but that means it's ALL CREATURE TYPES and I know MtG has Mutants... and Ninjas! ...but now I know there are TURTLES!!! So yes, Turtleshell Changelling is ipso facto a MUTANT NINJA TURTLE! ZOMG! ^_^ So...
I made a Duel Pack! :)
Heroes! Yay! ^_^
4 Amoeboid Changeling - It's the Mutagen! :-D 4 Turtleshell Changeling - MTG: Mutant Turtle Game!!! RIGHTEOUS!!! 4 Righteousness - Target blocking creature gets +7/+7 until end of turn. 4 Veteran's Armaments - Katana, bo, nunchuka, sai: +1/+1 for each attacking creature; and Ninja Turtles equip instantly! Casey Jones too! 1 Auriok Steelshaper - Casey Jones - Soldier - Equip costs you 1 less [because of the golf bag). As long as Casey Jones is equipped, Soldiers / Turtles you control get +1/+1. 1 Nezumi Shadow-Watcher - Splinter - Sacrifice Splinter: Destroy target ninja! He's only 1/1 because he's old, but he's so bad ass he can even destroy that Ask a Ninja Guy! 1 Lin Sivvi, Defiant Hero - April O'Neil - X+Tap: Search your library for a Rebel/Turtle permanent card with converted mana cost X or less and put that card into play. Then shuffle your library. 3: Put target Rebl/Turtle card from your graveyard on the bottom of your library. - April's always dragging the Turtles into Trouble, but she's good at finding out what bad guys are up to... 4 Peek - Look at target evil player's evil hand. Draw a good card. 1 Visserdrix - Creature - Rabbit Beast 6/6 - Usagi Yojimbo - He costs 6u, that's why he isn't in many cross-overs. :( 1 Walker of Secret Ways - Karai - High echelon leader of the Foot, heroine or villainess? She promises the Foot won't bother the Turtles anymore, but can she be trusted? - 1u:Return target Ninja you control to its owner's hand. 4 Story Circle - As Story Circle comes into play, choose a color. w: The next time a source of your choice of the chosen color would deal damage to you this turn, prevent that damage. - The Turtles ALWAYS win, because they're the GOOD guys! :) 4 Holy Strength - See?! GOOD guys! :D
4 Amoeboid Changling - The bad guys have Mutagen too! :( 1 Higure, the Still Wind - Shredder - Whenever Shredder deals combat damage to a player, Shredder searches for another Ninja to put in the hands of EVIL. I call dibs on playing the Turtle deck! 1 Experiment Kraj - Krang - Legendary Creature - Ooze Mutant - He's a BIG bad guy, REALLY hard to defeat, but he's really just some slimy brain with tentacles and stuff. Yuck. :p 1 Scandalmonger - Bebop - Creature - Boar Monger 3/3 2:Target player discards a card. Beebop is always trying to stop the Turtles from doing what they want. 1 Rhox - Rocksteady - Creature Rhino Beast - Even if you defeat him, he regenerates again and again! Bad guys are often like that. 1 Karstoderm - Leatherhead 1 Walker of Secret Ways - Karai - I KNEW I couldn't trust her! 4 Ninja of the Deep Hours - Foot Clan - Ninjutsu (1u: Return an unblocked attacker you control to hand: Put this card into play from your hand tapped and attacking.) 4 Shuriken - 2 damage to target creature, they won't kill the Turtles, but they sure are annoying. 4 Brass Man - ROBOT Foot soldiers - 1 - Artifact Creature - Construct - 1/3 Robot Foot soldier doesn't untap during your untap step. At the beginning of your upkeep, you may pay 1. If you do, untap Brass Man. - No wonder they're so easy to kill! 4 Myr Servitor - Mouser Robot - At the beginning of your upkeep, if Mouser Robot is in play, each player returns all cards named Mouser Robot from his or her graveyard to play. - Stupid Robots keep hunting Splinter! They were made by a scientist who mutated and became half FLY! He didn't adjust well. 1 Misshapen Fiend - Baxter Stockman - 1/1 - He's the fly. He can fly. ...but he's a wimp. 4 Warp World 5RRR - They're trying to warp the entire world! But they'll never do it, the Turtles won't let them! 2 Unholy Strength - See?! EVIL!
Lands: 27 10 Island 4 Terramorphic Expanse 4 Llanowar Wastes 2 Forest 2 Swamp 1 Hall of the Bandit Lord 1 School of the Unseen 1 Safe Haven 1 Volrath's Laboratory 1 Mirrodin's Core
